Movies have imagined tons of dystopias over the years, from Mad Max to The Hunger Games to The Flintstones. But the one we haven't seen yet is the one that will most likely happen: a GoldenGirlpocalypse. We're talking about a massive demographic shift where one in three people in developed countries will be over 60. For every kid under age 15, there will be three Gandalfs tripping over their beards.
This means a world that is built entirely for the old, with everyone else an afterthought. So let's take a moment to imagine a planet where "old" is the new "everybody."
8There Will Be Playgrounds for Old People
When was the last time you got to play on a playground without the condescending glares of the so-called parents of your new best friends Baylsonette, J'Adore and mYkalE M.? Years? It's almost not even worth playing anymore. But imagine climbing a slide that was custom built for your adult ass, navigating monkey bars that were calibrated for your thick paws. Merry-go-rounds, tetherball, SWINGS! SEESAWS! THESE THINGS:
It's exactly like a walker, except with the added danger of hip-destroying impact.
The idea of creating playgrounds tailor-made for old bodies began in China, then spread to Japan, where, if reports are to be believed, no children have been born since 1988. With fewer and fewer children, and old Asians bursting at the seams, local governments began disassembling children's playground equipment and replacing them with equipment designed for the elderly. It would have been sad if there'd been any kids around to whine about it.
It's like a reverse Children of the Corn without all that corn.
Today there are senior playgrounds in Germany, the U.K., Canada and Nuremberg, and most of them prohibit children from joining in the fun. One even has this totally serious sign at the entrance:
Old Germans are obsessed with having enough space, for some reason.
Proponents of the sites claim they're not just good for exercise and the laughs of bystanders, but also for socialization. As a kid, 95 percent of the fun of playing at a playground was making new friends and bullies. And for seniors living alone or with working children, getting to a playground might be the only way to ever pants someone again.