The future Vin Diesel was only 17, sporting an afro and a lot less muscle mass. A while back, we revealed that Mr. Diesel is one of the world's most hardcore Dungeons & Dragons geeks, and after seeing what he used to look like, that somehow doesn't seem so surprising.
You can watch the video all you want, but you'll never have an explanation for why anyone ever believed that dance moves like "walk like you have a dump in your pants" ...
... and "crotch watch" ...
This one is called the "I may poop directly onto your forehead -- you just never know."
... would get you anywhere but a knee to the neck. Then again, it was the '80s. To understand the times, you really had to be there, and on cocaine. Today, all we know is that Vin really didn't seem to be all that good at break dancing, and that it was probably irresponsible to put him in a position where he would be seen as an authority on the subject.
"I dunno, man -- just sort of bend your elbow or something. People won't know the difference."
Then again, this video does impart one incredibly important and inspirational message: No matter how big of a dork you are in your teens, with enough access to free weights and a razor, you can eventually turn yourself into Vin Diesel.
Now the world knows: D&D is one of the least nerdy things about Vin Diesel.