Apart from the obvious fact that using this product makes you look like a particularly boozy latchkey kid, there are just so many things that can go wrong here. You're placing a glass of notoriously staining substance in the immediate vicinity of your best wine-sippin' shirt, swinging in a pendulous, spill-seeking motion at the slightest movement of your body. Literally anyone at the party -- and we generously assume you're at a party instead of using this thing at home alone -- can trip and fall on you, shattering the glass and perforating your sternum with a hundred shards of chardonnay-flavored pain. Though the one thing you don't have to worry about is anyone trying to hug you. Ever again.
Ever wanted to know what it's like to be pitied by career alcoholics? Now you can!
Even if you manage to dodge all the other pitfalls provided by the product, there's this: How the hell do you drink from this thing? Do you wrestle the glass from the contraption every time you want a sip? Do you use a long bendy straw? Or bring the thing to your lips with strings attached, making you look like the world's only drinker with training wheels?