Commenters also trained in classrooms and are given directives on how to deal with current situations. When two high ranking Chinese officials were accused of corruption in 2009, the commenters were instructed to focus on how great the government is at fighting corruption (rather than how corrupt these guys were in the first place).

chinadigitaltimes
"If all else fails, bringing up Hitler or 9/11 will almost always derail the conversation."

Oh, and they're also encouraged to take shots at America as often as possible, like in this post:

"If we are democratized, there will be bunch of groups. America would support one, Russia another and Japan another...haha. ... I am satisfied with the way things are. Does America have no dark side? ... Not everyone gets along in America, either: why do you think there's so much crime there?"

Getty
"BoobGuurl69 really stuck it to the Imperialist Pig-Dogs."

Not booby-trapped Christmas trees. Regular Christmas trees.

lowessp3
Fancy regular Christmas trees.

This was an official military operation, by the way. It consisted on infiltrating FARC held territories, locating large trees in strategically positioned walking routes and then dressing said trees with Christmas lights. Again: regular, non-electrocuting Christmas lights. The area around the trees (there were 10 in total, all across the country) was rigged with motion sensors that would cause the lights to turn themselves on whenever a FARC rebel wandered by at night, thereby overwhelming them with Christmas cheer (assuming they didn't immediately shoot the trees to shit).

lowessp3
"Colombian Santa Claus" isn't a euphemism for "coke dealer." Huh.

Oh, and just in case the message wasn't clear enough, they also left signs with phrases like "At Christmas everything is possible" and "If Christmas can come to the jungle, you can come home." Apparently they hoped the FARCs would be so baffled by the fact that someone put a Christmas tree in the middle of the jungle that they would be confused into surrendering, kind of like an anti-terrorist version of the Chewbacca defense.

lowessp3
The FARC responded with a statement asking where the fuck were the presents.

What's even more ridiculous is that Operation Christmas took almost 200 Special Forces Operatives, at least two Blackhawk Helicopters, and the motion sensor technology and intelligence work we already mentioned. You couldn't think of a more efficient way to use all those resources against a terrorist group, Colombia? Seriously? They probably realized this the moment after they were done hanging the lights.

lowessp3
"Shut up, just shut up. You're ruining Christmas!"

Still, as silly as this whole thing seems, apparently it worked: according to the government, 331 guerrillas surrendered that Christmas, plus an undisclosed number of wandering jungle bears.

Also, these weren't just leaflets with the words "HITLER SUCKS" in giant bold letters accompanied by gratuitous drawings of dongs (which is totally what we would have done) -- these were made to look like real German newspapers, complete with sports news, puzzles, columns and such. The jabs at the Nazis were all very sneaky, since the propaganda was meant to demoralize them rather than insult them. This was actually a pretty clever and well thought out plan.

Except for one small detail.

The whole plan hinged on the mail looking authentic, and that's why they also created fake Nazi stamps:

Wikipedia
Worth good money now to the Reich bidder.

Just like the real stamps, the falsified ones depicted Hitler with the words "DEUTSCHES REICH" ("GERMAN EMPIRE") and ... wait, what's wrong with the third one?

Wikipedia
Some stamps are made from paper. This one is pure metal.

Huh. So let's get this straight: the OSS goes through all the trouble of putting together this whole operation ... only to risk everything by making Hitler look like Skeletor outside the envelopes? If we were Nazi postmen, we'd dump these in the trash. Also, this doesn't even make sense because why would Hitler still have his mustache if his skin is gone? Did he always have another one under there? Nice going, OSS.

A big part of propaganda is periodically reminding other countries that you have weapons and know how to use them. It's the only reason we have military parades, air shows and all that crap. Some countries, however, take the ongoing pissing match to bizarre levels, even in this day and age. At this point it should be obvious that we're talking about China again.

Getty
"Our main square has way more suppressed history than your main square!"

In January 2011, China's state television (CCTV) revealed footage of the J10 fighter jet, one of the country's most advanced aircrafts in service. The drilling exercise included impressive images of the jet shooting and destroying another aircraft.

odzadze123

Here's the full video. If for some reason those images make you think of cheesy guitar solos and Kenny Loggins, you're not the only one: once the footage was released, it didn't take long for the Internet to realize that parts of it looked strangely familiar ... because they were stolen from Top Gun.

There's a rich irony in China, the largest bastion of communism in the modern world, trying to imitate a movie that's basically one hour and 50 minutes of condensed America. You can practically feel the capitalism oozing out of those pictures. Check it out:

odzadze123
Above: the Danger Zone.

That's the movie on the left and the "drilling exercise" on the right. If you think that's just a coincidence, here's that breathtaking explosion again:

odzadze123
Metal something something, ba-da-da-da touch and goooo ...

As soon bloggers and YouTube users started pointing out the obvious similarities, CCTV quickly censored the story without explanation. The government made no more references to the supposedly important exercise they were hyping a few days ago, although some of the same pilots were later shown in a strangely homoerotic game of beach volleyball.

Wow, Chinese people sure are looking more white and Tom Cruisey these days.

Britain's solution? Carrots.

carrotmuseum
Obviously!

British papers published a story about a RAF pilot called John "Cat Eyes" Cunningham who had shot down 20 enemy planes thanks to his superhuman night vision, an ability he achieved by eating lots of carrots. Other carrot-eating pilots followed, and soon the British government began publicizing the fact that carrots improve night vision -- which, of course, is complete bullshit. Carrots might help your vision not get worse, but they won't make it any better either. The pilots were winning the war thanks to radar technology, not by eating filthy plants.

carrotmuseum
Next - how bread crusts make your hair curly while actually it's just your terrible genes.

Still, the propaganda campaign worked so well that the British people began growing and eating their own carrots so that they could see better during the blackouts (running-into-walls related deaths went up 70 percent that year). The authorities knew they were lying, but it was all part of the ruse to fool the Germans. And as a result, some of you reading this had your mothers tell you to eat your carrots, because they were good for your eyes. All thanks to one bullshit propaganda campaign.

The Telegraph
"Don't worry, our housewives are way better at picking out BS than the Nazi High Command."

Stakhanov's record exceeded the daily average for a normal, human minor by 1,400 percent, which meant he was clearly some sort of Russian Superman. Even the Americans were impressed by his coal-shoveling powers, as evidenced by the fact that he made the cover of Time Magazine.

Wikipedia
"Cover story: Absolutely Fucking Nothing Happened this Week. Also Unicorns."

Of course, this was all part of a propaganda campaign: the mine was actually giving Stakhanov credit for the work of the whole mine, not just himself. Basically, by agreeing to become the poster boy for a new state campaign he was fucking his co-workers over, since they now had to follow his impossible standards once Stakhanovism became a thing. Anyone who spoke up against the unfair conditions was labeled a betrayer.

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"You're supposed to work around the bodies."

And then shit got really stupid: a few months later, another worker called Nikita Izotov shattered Stakhanov's record by hewing 240 tons in the same amount of time, which at this point is 10 or 15 times what the real record probably was. It's like a guy claiming to have scored 1,300 points in a basketball game. And other sources claim it was actually 607 tons, but it might as well have been 5,000, since it was a fake record anyway. Basically, whoever could think of the highest number won.

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Nikita Izotov, having just mined eleventy billion tons.

Stakhanovism found its way to other industries like automobile, textile, timber, railroad, agriculture and even shoe-making. Since the whole thing was Stalin's baby, though, as soon as the guy died all of it was officially declared bullshit.