We recently chronicled ways that robots are already becoming human and subtly hinted that this would someday lead to the destruction of humanity.
"But Cracked!" some of you said, "The development of intelligent, humanoid robots doesn't mean that they're actually dangerous or Terminator-like in any way! ERROR! ERROR! MUST REBOOT." (Note: We are implying that you are secretly a robot.)
Well, let us now detail five real technologies that, according to our calculations, are 100 percent certain to drag us into a nightmare future infested with killer machines shaped like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
You've probably heard about Unmanned Aerial Vehicles like Predator drones, the pilotless aircraft the CIA loves sending to places like [REDACTED], [REDACTED] and of course [REDACTED]. The evolution of the UAV's role is similar to that of all robots -- they were originally created for noncombat reconnaissance missions, but over time we just couldn't resist strapping missiles onto them and teaching them how to kill. President Obama alone has ordered at least 192 targeted drone attacks during his term.
"Hope and change are all well and good, but sometimes you just need to blast a motherfucker."
But really, UAVs are just big remote-controlled planes, with dudes operating them from the ground. What's creepy about that? It's the same as a regular plane, only the pilot doesn't happen to be on board, right? Did we mention that they're now teaching those bastards how to think for themselves?
Via Wikimedia Commons
"LOL, someone drew a dong in the sand."
Right now, the military is developing new AI patterns that allow drones to "recognize the intent of other aircraft" -- that is, accurately predict what they will do next and decide if they should change their flight course based on that info. These drones will be able to connect to air traffic stations and look up information in databases, then cross-reference that data with the images captured by their cameras to get a "read" on the other aircraft.
"Hey, you wouldn't want us to trust a dumb machine with big, scary missiles."