The actual procedure goes as follows: Fat areas are pressed between two freeze plates for a couple of hours. During this time, your fat cells freeze over. This in turn should cause them to harmlessly break down and become reabsorbed by the body over the course of two to four months.
Alternatively: a goddamn salad.
Sound fine? Well, actually it sounds more like Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat had gotten tired of ripping opponents' spines out and decided to give something back to the community the only way he knows how. Still, it's better than knives, right? Unless of course there is a catch.
Ha, of course there is! Actually, there are three:
1) It's a fat-removing surgery where they don't allow fat people. The coolsculpted area needs to be pretty protruding, yet small enough to safely freeze. That means the process is restricted to small lumps and thigh fat concentrations -- maybe love handles, tops.
"We can freeze off some of that finger fat, though."
2) As with everything expensive ever in the history of mankind, the coolsculpting process has its cheap knock-off alternatives. As with practically nothing else, though, these knock-offs take the ball and run with it, all the way to goo goo land. There are copycats out there who market sitting in a glorified freezer for extended periods of time as coolsculpting and also a totally safe thing to do of in every possible way.
Oh yeah, and 3) According to at least one user review, and the reality show star you see in the first image in this entry getting the procedure on camera, coolsculpting hurts like hell.