A couple weeks ago, we asked you guys what we should title our random. We'll be honest, a lot of your ideas were pretty shitty. Still, we liked Tobias' attitude when he said "You should call it, "silly time cracked roundup!!!" Because this website is silly! Silly silly silly! fuck you all." He had a perfect mixture of enthusiasm and total insanity. In short, he's exactly the kind of audience we're aiming for.
Did you hate Tobias' suggestion? Come up with a new one. Leave your suggestions in the comments, or don't. And we'll read them. Or maybe we won't.
YES WE CANDIDATES!
The 6 Most Insane People Ever to Run for President
Guys seriously don't forget to vote next Tuesday.
Notable Comment: A bunch of idiots arguing about bullshit. Don't bother.
6 National Anthems That Will Make You Tremble with Fear
Okay, fine, your national anthem can kick our national anthem's ass.
Notable Comment:Spookzeus says " I live in my own country and our national anthem is and will always be "pussy Crook" by Mystikal." Really? That's Finland's national anthem, too. Weird.
THE PORN IDENTITY!
9 Innocent Google Searches That Get Porn on the First Page
Oddly enough, typing "Cracked" is totally fine.
Notable Comment: Skooba says "Also, on the same subject do the same thing with article but with countries... (hint: japanese and russian #1 and #2)" No way! We followed up on this and got startling search results when we type "Boobtown," "West Vagina" and "Cocksylvania." The internet is weird.
The 9 Most Inappropriate Soundtrack Choices of All Time
Just never use Lou Reed for anything. How about that as a rule?
Notable Comment: maneatingpie says " Space Oddity by David Bowie is actually about using Heroine... so you guys are wrong... again! That's 1 point for me and 0 for Cracked." Since we're keeping score, "Heroine" with an "e" means "female hero." If you're going to try to be an asshole, try not to sound like such an idiot. Thanks for playing!
THOU SHALT NOT!
The 7 Deadly Sins of Online Gaming
"No, seriously, Mr. Hitchens, thank you but please don't mention my name, ever. Please."
Notable Comment: ctype says " I feel like a born again virgin after reading this." We have nothing snarky to say. That was pretty funny.
YOU YOU YOU!
The Day After the Election... of 2012
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, If Every (Famous) Person Got What They Deserved.
Hank never wore earmuffs when he worked, as no bomb blast could be as loud as his shirt.
Even the bomb squad has casual Fridays.
"well i for one hate our new robot overlor... he's right behind me isnt he."
Incredibly enough, the biggest embarrassment here is the douchebag wearing loafers with shorts.
by Plan B
My parents have an erotic bakery?!
Wait sir! You forgot your Change!
Check out this new video on EweTube... Three girls/one cut.
well...........the word on the street is....
This is how the homeless text each other.
Vandalism in gay communities is a whole different concept.
"Oh my God, a flamingo!" *swerves right*
"No, Dad, it's..."
"Oh my God, a smurf!!" *swerves left*
"Dad, they're just stuck on the..."
"Oh my God, a troll!!!" *swerves right*
"THAT'S IT! I'M DRIVING!!"
1948 Hide and Seek Champion
Remember when your parents bitched about being worried sick that you might be lying dead in a gutter somewhere? Turns out that they were hilariously right.
by Plan B
Instagram influencers are often absurd.
A good horror story is hard to pull off.
All commercials are a least a little weird.
These actions stars were so bad at being badass, they were just ass.