I would like to hold you in my arms, and buy things for you with my arms.About me:
I'm a 31-year-old lawyer. I am an incredible listener. I have been listening to things for years, and I am fucking amazing at it. I would like to listen to you talk about how your coworkers aren't as intelligent as you, and would like to know where you buy shoes. I would then like to show you the view from the balcony of my apartment, while we drink red wine, and I continue to listen to you describe things that annoy or delight you. What I'm looking for:
I want someone who' confident; someone that truly believes, deep down inside, that she is incredibly hot. I would also like someone that isn't fooling herself when she thinks that.
It would also be great if you are someone who isn't intimidated when faced with an enormous meat-wand, which Connect4You guidelines prevent me from outright claiming that I have. Hobbies:
Wearing shirts with my collar up, buying accessories for my cell phone.Likes:
Success, listening, the phrase "meat-wand"Dislikes:
The Amazing Race, MythBusters, Conan O'Brien
The Screw You Bastards Stage
Frustrated at my lack of success, I vented my feelings the only way I knew how: by creating another online dating profile.Name:
I'm only creepy on the inside. About me:
I'm a 27-year-old male. Science promises lifelike female robots within the next twenty years, but that' longer than I can wait. Consequently I need a girlfriend. Although I've never actually had sex, I have played several video games that simulate the act, and feel that that experience, combined with my cat like reflexes, means I'll have a pretty good handle on what' going on. So no worries there.
A side note: I am quite religious, and will only be able to date someone who is cool with me worshipping a pewter statue of Pat Sajak.