Cracked Fact: Bob Barker's two-fisted cameo would stand as the single greatest role for a celebrity playing himself until a coked-up Neil Patrick Harris hit the scene in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.
P.T. Anderson takes everything you'd expect from an Adam Sandler flick-a lovable meathead prone to violent outbursts, a disastrous attempt at phone sex and a subplot revolving around $3,000 worth of pudding-and runs it through the Creepy Indie Film filter to make something nobody thought possible: the Thinking Man's Adam Sandler Movie.
Verdict: It's slow going at the start, but once you get through the first hour, it suddenly becomes the single best role of Sandler's career. Between a scene where he explains a scheme involving pudding fraud to Luis Guzman and an amazing face-off with Philip Seymour Hoffman, the payoff's totally worth it.
Cracked Fact: This movie is 97 minutes long. 63 of those are spent in extremely uncomfortable pauses.
ALSO CLASSICS: Billy Madison, The Wedding Singer
Cracked Fact: If you're making a movie and you find yourself pointing a camera at Rob Schneider for more than, say, two scenes of it, you should probably stop. And by probably, we mean immediately.
ALSO UNDERRATED: Big Daddy, Airheads
Cracked Fact: There's a scene in Spanglish where Sandler's character refers to Paz Vega as being "drop-dead crazy gorgeous." That is one hundred percent true.
ALSO OVERRATED: The Longest Yard, Bulletproof
If you've ever wondered why so many people hate Adam Sandler, look no further than this cinematic atrocity. With an annoying "funny" voice and face, phenomenally lame jokes that only get a reaction from other characters in the movie, extended sequences showcasing Sandler's basketball skills, and-of course-a tacked-on moral about Just Being Yourself, it's not just Sandler's worst. It might be the worst movie of any SNL cast member.
Verdict: It's hard to say that watching a movie is worse than contracting, say, leprosy, but Since Nicky opens with Jon Lovitz getting raped by a man in a bird costume and just goes downhill from there, traditional measures of quality don't really apply.
Cracked Fact: Although it wasn't widely publicized, Sandler was actually brought to trial at The Hague for war crimes after releasing this piece of crap, and only escaped hanging after promising to do a P.T. Anderson film.
ALSO TOTAL CRAP: Eight Crazy Nights, Anger Management
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
Being at the top of your game can really drag you down.
Sometimes our big, dumb brains are just flat-out wrong.