Why Being 'Attractive' Isn't Worth It [PIE CHARTS]
Winston Rowntree is the author of Subnormality, the popular webcomic which he describes as containing "weird characters, endless opinions and occasionally huge walls of text."
In this installment of his Cracked comic Abnormality, Mr. Rowntree shows us the downside of being an attractive woman, and being a typical man.
Check out past updates, in which Winston showed you The Lower Rungs You Never See of an Evil Crime Syndicate ,The Truth Behind Obnoxious Assholes with 4 Pie Charts, Bono as a Superhero, Why Marriage Is Evil, The Mineral States of Man and Every Album Ever or weeks before when he showed you The Circle of Life for Jocks and Nerds, How To Win At Panhandling and How NOT to Get Revenge on Your Ex.
How sweet.
ReplyI don't like big boobs. No girl with small boobs has ever believed me when I said that; they always think I'm just saying what they want to hear.
ReplyI only like boobs with a perky personality.
Replyguysmight love big boobs,but its so not worth it for the girl.
ReplyI'm a DD cup, I'm rather tall, and built a little strongly. If I don't wear a bra, my shoulder, neck, and back hurt like hell. It got to the point to where it was hard to get out of bed.
ReplyWhy would that be a problem?
I shouldn't have laughed, I know that, but I did. Damn you, BT.
LOL'd @ "has a tiny car".
ReplyI have 38 DD's and no back problems. I don't know why girls always complain about back problems because unless you're some hunchback ogre you shouldn't have that many problems. Personally I know a bunch of girls who complain for sympathy and it's pathetic.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesDepends on the size of the breasts in comparison to the person. I have one friend who like you has 38 DD's and no problem, but she is on the bigger side and taller. My other friend has 38DD's but is rather tiny, the boobs are way too big for her body, causing a balance shift and pain.
Yeah, different women have different experiences with large breasts. You not having issues doesn't mean no one does or that it's "just for sympathy" (plenty of them probably are, but not likely all). I'm 5'1 and the same bra size as you. With a solid, well-constructed bra, I can minimize my issues, but if I want to wear a bikini, wear a halter dress, find anything sexy, or pay less than $40 per bra, my back, neck, and shoulders will regret it for days.
tellmetwice - If your profile pic is your own photo, your back is probably smaller than a 38. Consequently, your cup size would probably be above a DD. Glad you're not getting back pain, but a bra with a smaller back would really cut the risk.
Internet - DD is not the bra size ceiling. A genuine DD cup on a slim frame looks damn near flat-chested. Ladies, please don't just go by which bras fit your boobs. Back size counts just as much.
Actually, there was this super hot girl in my Anthropology class who I have immediately interested in. We vibed each other just long enough for me to realize what a total b***h she was. Smart and pretty, but totally insufferable.
Wicked.Zombie is right. I'm 5'8" and kind of muscular and I have very few problems unless I'm running. I have a tiny friend who wears a size smaller, and she has a lot of pain unless she uses a bra with tons of support.
So many titties...! Where? Where?!
Shut the f**k up. My mother just had surgery because her 38DDD breast on her petite 5-foot frame was practically ruining her life.
You want to kow what is pathetic?
"LYK OMG IF HAZ HOOGE BOOBIEZ AND I AM LYK SO TOUFF AND SMARTICAL AND NOT UGALIE SO IM TOTTALEE FUCKABLE LOL!!!"
^Yeah. That's you.
I have the urge to pet and give cake to the guy standing with the household appliances. WTF?
ReplyIn all seriousness, I think the "someone who understands you" and "a personality or something" sections in the first pie chart should be barely visible. Never met one man who wants those. Just T&A from my male friends. And a small waist.
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesI might have a physical standard, but I would honestly rather date an average girl with a great personality than a physically flawless girl who was a sick b***h :D
Nsomnia, I don't believe you.
You're male friends are what we, real men, call douches. To be perfectly honest, the physical attraction is important but only until the personality comes out. I've been with girls that almost made me cringe before I knew them, after which I damn near fell in love, and I know a lot of physically flawless bitches that I don't want within ten feet of me.
Screw you Liza. I am calling you out.
On what, Banzuke?
Well it's certainly not your winning personality driving them away!
It's the same guys who're obsessed with T&A who're the ones who complain about their girlfriends constantly. "She's a bitch!" Because guys find her attractive and she knows it so she doesn't have to have a good personality to get guys. Chicks who're average or ugly have to have a good personality to keep guys so they get the good ones.
So Liza, out of all the male friends you have, how many are interested in long term relationships? How many are married? I know many people would want to drive a Lambo, but not buy or maintain one.
Most men are (if they would but simply admit it) looking for (ahem) an opening. Any opening.
ReplyIt's alright, all those unfortunate ladies with the sizable-yet-not-gigantic boobs, small to moderate asses, and attractive legs can swing on over this way, since I guess all the other dudes don't like those sorts of silly things...foreign, especially british accents are sorta sweet though, I will admit...
ReplyThis is actually really sweet. It's saying that all we really need is someone who understands us. ^_^
ReplyIt still beats being ugly...I know!
ReplySo, the guy up there, did he wind up being Pope or popcorn?
ReplyBoth. In that order.
Popecorn
Someone needs to cover the awkwardness in those situations. There's nothing worse than realizing that someone is speaking to your chest and not your face. How do you resolve that without groin kicks?
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesBoobs are like a solar eclipse; you wanna look, but can't look.
Sure you can look. It's called peripheral vision. Eyes on the face, but really looking at the chest. Not that I condone that, but it's possible.
Hooray for peripheral vision
Yeah, for real. I also love when a dude clearly has no idea what I've been saying because he's staring at my chest. And I don't trust people in sunglasses.
When my breasts get eye fondled, I find that saying 'lizard chipmunk sex' makes them jerk their heads up.
Where are all the leg men? I mean really, I can't wrap my boobs or my ass around your waist.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replieswhich makes them too small. ahaaa!
Us leg men never make the cut. :sadface:
To me, leg fetishists are like foot fetishists without the grossness. Just something I wont understand. I don't hate though, cuz I have my own fair share of strange preferences.
"Has a tiny car" was brilliant.
ReplyActually, according to at least two studies, men seem to prefer ass over breasts. Very scientific, I know.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesi read the same thing. I also read that men prefer smaller boobs over huge boobs. so, in all, I win.
Pretty sure the same goes for women too, but for other reasons.
I hate to break these news for you gals: some men actually have different tastes and preferences.
If we're talking ~science~, apparently waist-hip ratio is really the most important thing: There have been multiple studies showing men both photographs of real women with bigger and smaller waist-hip ratios, and Photoshopped images where the ratio was altered to unnatural highs and lows, and in every case, men overwhelmingly preferred the lowest waist-hip ratios shown (which means small waist/big hips). Studies on preferred breast size have come up with inconsistent results. Obviously individual men all like different things, but apparently very very few like women with thick waists and/or no hips (and no ass, I would guess, since the two tend to go together). Science!
HAHA! I loved this! Where can I meet the "not a manboy"? I don't call them manboys, I call them manchildren...oh well..same sh*t.
Reply Hide All See All 9 Repliescredit history. If a man takes out a loan more than every two years he has no sense of wealth management. If he can't get a loan, then he has no credit - fiscally irresponsible. I'm not saying a guy has to be rich, just stable enough to manage his own life. if he can't do that than he's not someone you can commit to. I'm a 22 year old college student. I drive an '03 intrepid (formerly my granda's car), I enjoy simple things like art and nature and have almost no debt. my best freind is 24, signifigantly more attractive then I am, drives a viper, has 300 dollar oakly shades and italian leather shoes...but he lives at home and doesnt want to finish college. guess which one of us got the girl...
The douchebag did.
Probably your friend. What's his number?
wait so theres only one? damn i guess i've been swindled into being gay
Oh, SkanMan, you may think you got the girl but just wait until you figure out why your girlfriend goes on so many long-term vacations.
Don't knock guys with no credit. I have none because I've never used a credit card or taken out a loan in my life. I have EXACTLY no debt, a paid for car, a nice apartment, and six months worth of living expenses in money market account should s**t hit the fan for whatever reason. You'd be surprised how little things like credit scores mean when you live within your means and don't need to borrow money for anything.
I cosign on that one Dil.
>College student
>writes "then" instead of "than"
I seriously hope you're studying mathematics or some shit...
Jesus469 was inappropriately touched by typos at a young age.
Wah. Still better than being unattractive.
ReplyThank you!
This comic is really ludicrous. Being an attractive woman isn't all it's cracked up to be? Really? Try being an unattractive woman.
@mogonk: Bitter? Unless you have a literal deformity or disfigurement, you can almost certainly look fine with the right clothes and makeup. If you don't want to put in the effort (like me), don't bitch.