Right-Wingers Cope With ‘South Park’s Scorching Trump Parody By Pretending No One Watches the Show

According to both the White House and the online right, South Park is so desperate to remain relevant and popular that Trey Parker and Matt Stone just signed a $1.5 billion contract extension with Paramount instead of squeezing the company for a beautiful $16 million.

Last night, South Park premiered its 27th season with the headline-making episode “Sermon on the ‘Mount,” which absolutely skewered President Donald Trump and the parent companies that play ball with him. Parker and Stone even brought back the classic South Park (and world) antagonist Saddam Hussein to play President Donald Trump as they excoriated the commander-in-chief for his open corruption, his fascistic orders and his tendency to sue his every critic and any painter who dares to depict his dick at its factually diminutive size.

In response to South Park calling him a small-dicked Middle Eastern dictator who launches frivolous lawsuits like they’re homing missiles aimed at Iran, Trump hid behind his assistant press secretary who told Rolling Stone that South Park isn’t worth the President’s time because it "hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years” and is “hanging on by a thread with uninspired ideas in a desperate attempt for attention.”

Now, the online right, who, up until last night, considered Parker, Stone and South Park to be their greatest anti-woke culture warriors, have flipped the script and begun to follow the President’s marching orders as they collectively pretend that South Park is no longer popular in hundreds of thousands of Twitter threads, causing South Park to top the site’s trending topics:

Meanwhile, the majority of right-wing grifters who have spent the last nine years pretending that God put Parker and Stone on this earth to own the libs have simply avoided South Park discussions entirely, despite the sea of South Park fans who are tagging them under every post of Trump’s shriveled, talking penis and asking them for a comment. 

For instance, despite name-dropping South Park every time he feels like mocking Muslims with impunity, conservative thought-leader and podcaster Ben Shapiro has yet to react to “Sermon on the ‘Mount” — although I’m sure he’d just say that he forgot South Park was still on the air until the White House put out a press release about it.

While hundreds of thousands of South Park fans continue to discuss last night’s headline-making premiere across social media, the conservative game plan for handling such a ruthless roasting of President Trump seems to come straight from the man himself: Hide from it in your bunker like it’s a peaceful protest.