Top Picks for July

By:

Some of the best stuff from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.

07.31.2009

An entertainment website attempts to do the impossible:

The most important debate our president will ever be involved in:
Thanks to PaleHorse in the Mirth Canal.

How divorces happen in Footloose:

Sarah Palin's tweets read by William Shatner:

In other news, TO does absolutely zero to ensure he doesn't become a walking joke:

Douchebags from Comic-Con:

Your weekly celebrity dish:

These people will regret these purchases the next day:

Merry Christmas!:

The 16 Worst Cartoon Theme Songs of the 80s:

The 11 Best Beers That Will Get You Drunk But Not Fat:

What's going to happen when she finds out Captain Crunch isn't really a captain?:
Thanks to projectjulio in the Mirth Canal.

10 Classic Cult TV Shows:

What your sexual fantasies say about you (furries need not read):

The 10 Best Mighty Boosh Clips:

10 Badass Female JOEs:

Terrible car modifications:

A couple of alternatives to FML: and

80 of the sexiest backs on the planet:

The only flying-V better than Mighty Ducks':

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: 2004 produced a mediocre film and, apparently, a featurable page.
Submitted by Wickbam in the Mirth Canal.

07.28.2009

EA knows how to treat its female employees:
Thanks to Doctor Shenanigans in the Mirth Canal.

The real Game Genie:

Lego toys ain't nuthin' to fuck wit:

Michael Jackson to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize:

Meanwhile, his nose has gone missing:

20 Parodies of the Last Supper:

If you don't want to be treated like a girl, maybe you should stop acting like one:

10 Great Nicknames for Sports Stuff in Movies:

Aida Iveliz has child birthing boobs:

Six Funniest Harry Potter Sex Spoofs:

11 Old School Nintendo Tricks Permanently Burned Into Our Brains:

The ultimate Coca-Cola machine:
Thanks to keinkampf in the Mirth Canal.

Which twin is hotter?:

This proves there's at least some good left in the world:

Adult Swim's most awkward Comic-Con moments:

Or find out what the costumed folks at Comic-Con think about things they are highly unqualified to discuss (like sex):

An inside look at Where the Wild Things Are:

Your Comic-Con summary:

How to hit on women: Step 1) Mention her Wikipedia page:

Sexy, scantily clad cosplay girls:

"I'm sorry, what was your name again?":

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Le Petomane, the Master Flatulist.
Submitted by oball in the Mirth Canal.

07.23.2009

They asked the masses what concerns today's man, and here are the results:

We'd watch C-SPAN a lot more if American politics were like this:
Thanks to DevlindeSade in the Mirth Canal.

It's only a matter of time before they're blowing up the Statue of Liberty:

Hot chicks working on computers. Is "nerdgasm" a word?:

Kuroshio Sea: The second largest aquarium tank in the world:

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland:

What employers really mean when they turn you down:

Please, sir, can we have some Moya:

Seven Coolest Men's Magazine Ads:

11 Sexy Photos Totally Ruined By People in the Background:

Press conferences never sounded so good:
Thanks to Quagmar in the Mirth Canal.

10 Stars of Celebrity Sex Tapes:

Straight from their lips: Sci-fi guys the ladies at lemondrop would do:

Hookers. Zombies. 'Nuff said:

The most relevant charts and graphs of our time:

Dirty comics by great artists:

Not even the WWE could top this storyline:

The 210 Most Shameful Drunken Shamings:

"The quicker you settle down and smile, the quicker we can throw your suits on the grill for dinner.":

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A disturbing history of human/goat relations.
Submitted by Lieutenant Geyser Shitdick in the Mirth Canal.

07.21.2009

A special message from MCA of the Beastie Boys:

Big wiener proves too much to handle for 22-year-old female:
Thanks to Cracked_User in the Mirth Canal.

Sprite: Just like suckin' dick:

The Venetian's bathroom doesn't compare to Conan's:

10 Things Hugh Hefner Probably Says Before Having Sex:

Lady Leanne shows us how to wear the Borat bathing suit:

Ben Stiller really loves dolphins:

Six Funniest Dirty Jokes From Dustin Hoffman:

HOLY SHIT OUR EYES:
Thanks to BattleKitten in the Mirth Canal.

10 Surprising Guests On Reno 911:

Poke a dead body down the river:

Ducks are the village idiots of the Animal Kingdom, apparently:

The greatest non-nude scenes of all time:

Introducing the tandem boob-press:

In the year 2000, Michael Jackson will become Lando Calrissian:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Why your glue might not be working.

07.14.2009

17 Worst Haircuts in the Ottoman Empire:

Glenn Beck loses his shit on-air:
Thanks to Siebenstein in the Mirth Canal.

How did this guy lose to Luke Skywalker with moves like that?:

The infamous Michael Jackson Pepsi blunder:

Gillian Leigh wears bras, shirts, hay, women:

How To Pick Your Meat (for men and women):

Woman tweets during bank robbery; doesn't call police:
Thanks to ninja in the Mirth Canal.

Hmm... maybe there's something in a meatless, furless lifestyle:

The Legend of Old Gregg:

When frat boy antics meets Animal Planet:

No longer is porn only for those of us who can see:

77 Homemaking Hotties:

What the fuck is going on in this commercial? (warning: may cause seizures):

Four Actors That Should Be Playing Spider-Man Villains:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Everything you wanted to know about Jughead's hat and more.

07.14.2009

Some guy with famous people:
Thanks to Doctor Shenanigans in the Mirth Canal.

You just got served Kim Jong-il:

Conando to the rescue!:

More sand-bras with Christy West! Featuring less sand:

How To Read Faces (if you win the WSOP you owe us half the earnings):

Amazing short film:
Thanks to The Furlinator in the Mirth Canal.

UFC fighter gives an interviewer a piece of his mind (by mind we mean dry-humping):

Twirl and Hurl 2:

Redneck bottle opener:

Put a baby picture in your wallet (even if the child isn't yours):

It might be time to take up biking:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Moves that will turn you into Hulk Hogan (minus the steroids).

07.10.2009

Michael Jackson will not be returning as a zombie:
Thanks to Honest Abe in the Mirth Canal.

Saving Private Ryan on a $100 budget:

Is thi... Is this what babies do?:

Erica Underwood is giving us not-so-under-wood... she's hot:

Britney Spears to join the ranks of Amy Winehouse, Billy Joel and Gene Simmons (and not for rampant substance abuse):

Absolutely incredible music video:
Thanks to nchammer326 in the Mirth Canal.

Top 10 Trashiest Quotes from Strangers with Candy:

Family Guy's best side-characters:

Get you some, Obama:

Merriam-Webster adds some more words. The rest of the world goes on blissfully unaware:

Sixty Sexy Tube Sock Girls:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Einstein's first wife (the one who wasn't his cousin).

07.07.2009

Australians sure are whacky:
Thanks to HyperGlavin in the Mirth Canal.

The ultimate atomic wedgie:

15 Creepy Vintage Ads

Drink up. The beer belly is a myth.

Turns out the Mexicans are trying to keep us out:

In these times of economic hardship, please do what you can to help:

More sand undergarments with Carin Ashley:

5 Lies All Women Tell:

Great Moments in Sexy Celebrities With Food in Their Mouths:

To cheap to get your hair cut? Try this:
Thanks to tlcfasho in the Mirth Canal.

The Michael Jackson Sleepover Kit:

Zombies and hookers as one (try not to soil yourself):

Dry humping to Blur? Really?:

Megan Fox as a cheerleader and that chick from Heroes kissing another chick. What more could you ask for?:

The Megan Fox Sex Soundboard:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: More than you would ever care to know about chamber music.

07.03.2009

If you're going to fail a class, do it right:
Thanks to yugosakimi in the Mirth Canal.

Squirrels don't only live in trees:

An argument between tattoos:

Aylen Alvarez shows us her sand bra:

Top 10: Things You Never Say to a Woman:

When golf and hot chicks become one, magic happens:

10 Most Awkward High School Yearbook Photos Of Heavy Metal Stars.

French people never cease to baffle us:
Thanks to BattleKitten in the Mirth Canal.

10 National Anthem Performances We Wish Could be Taken Back.

Pornstar or Pop Star? (Likely NSFW):

Dirty Squidbilly sex:

A short film by Pixar:

10 Muppets That Should Have Warped Us

Sexy and patriotic (Happy Fourth of July!):

A guide to not fucking up your fireworks display this weekend:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Red headed people!

Still have time to waste? Check out June's Top Picks.

Scroll down for the next article

MUST READ

Forgot Password?