The Truth Behind Obnoxious Assholes (4 Pie Charts)
Winston Rowntree is the author of Subnormality, the popular webcomic which he describes as containing "weird characters, endless opinions and occasionally huge walls of text."
In this installment of his weekly Cracked comic Abnormality, Mr. Rowntree charts the math behind annoying assholes ...
Check out past updates, in which Winston showed you Bono as a Superhero, Why Marriage Is Evil, The Mineral States of Man and Every Album Ever or weeks before when he showed you The Circle of Life for Jocks and Nerds, How To Win At Panhandling and How NOT to Get Revenge on Your Ex.
Interesting. The smallest portion gets the most space since it's what everyone hypes/complains/worries about... I like it, and it's so true.
ReplyIs it just me or does the placement/coloring of "creative music" make it look like the pop star pissed herself
ReplyI like how there's a little guy stabbed on her high heels in the last one.
ReplyI is so funny, you laugh at me please.
ReplyI agree with the middle two, but not the Internet one and certainly not the music one.
ReplyInternet:
40% Trolls
20% Chinese
30% FBI
9% Spambots
1% People
0% Women
Music:
25% "corporate" ( does this even mean anything?)
5% Good Music
1% Awesome Music 6
69% s****y garage noises
Hi Marti
define "people"
Thanks,
Woman
You know which room to be in woman.
Oh c'mon, just come out with the last chart and say you're mad no one wants to sign up your single-man indie-band. Only an idiot can't listen to new music because it doesn't get played on the radio.
ReplyThese are graphs about perception seemingly based on cause and effect, not the cause and effect itself. In other words he wasn't saying that he couldn't find the new music.
And just save everyone the grief and come out yourself. You're just mad that you're gay and can't tell your parents.
And award for the sneakiest out of nowhere "you're just mad because you're gay" argument goes to...
As for the last chart: Thank god the internet exists. Otherwise I would have never been able to hear a lot of good bands and I would probably still be listening to Aaron Carter and Avril Lavigne.
ReplyIt's just a shame that 90% of the internet is filled with trolls. Oh, wait.. my bad.
Subnormality sucks s**t
ReplyYeah, your comic is way better. What's it called again?
My hipster alert is going crazy at the last chart.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesmine too.
Agreed, because good music is "genreless"? Sure can be, but more often than not isn't.
I like that he says "you'll never hear it because it gets no media attention." That's just laziness and general disinterest in musical investigation. Gryphon, Gentle Giant, PCO, they never get media recognition but OOPS I've heard of them, enjoy them, and have several albums of theirs. Though maybe they are just "soulless" because you can always find a niche for their musical genre.
Not listed : Preachy self entitled assholes who make comics that are nothing but logical fallacies
ReplyForgot about the knuckleheads who brings a 4 year old into a rated-r horror film. Then they act shocked when they're asked to take the kid outside 'til the kid calms down.
Replya*****e Parent: "But I paid for my ticket!!"
Usher: "So did everyone else in the theater ma'am."
AP: "How's that my fault?"
Usher: (Looks a screaming, terrorfied child) You really want me to answer that?
I worked in a movie theater for 7 years, it's happened more than once.
you guys aren't allowing any comments about how, um, funny that was, are you?
Replywhy aren't my comments being posted?
Replyum, they are.
I love the guy impaled on that slutty singer's heel.
ReplyI would have missed that one if you hadn't pointed it out.
same here lol
you apparently need to learn how to draw black people.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesYou apparently need to learn how to type capital letters and not be a douche.
Read a lot of Jim Crowe-era cartoons, do you?
Wow, JesusMonkey, going right for the throat with that capital letters thing? Bet that stings.
Excuse me, but what in the world warranted that?
Kill yourself.
Where I live, the perceived representations of the movies and the music are in fact the horribly terrifying reality!
ReplyMost of the people at the movies have their cell-phones on and can't shut the f**k up!
The radio plays nothing but mainstream shit, when the dj isn't cracking asinine jokes and rambling on about some completely irrelevant topic for longer than the 'music' plays... oh, and all the mind-numbing commercials they slip in as part of their speech.
I'm so f*****g glad I've got an MP3 player in my car loaded with thousands of tunes that I want to hear!!!
I like the art for the music/pop singer. Not her, but what the pic is saying.
ReplyUh, what? Waste of time, tbh.
Replyas if it took more than 10 seconds to understand them? Yeah, I guess I come on cracked to do productive things too.
i have noisy hillbillies as neighbors all they do is have parites and have a forest cause they wont cut their lawn
ReplyYou know, for the s**tty neighbors one I usually have more problem not with hicks, but a*****es blasting bass out of their car in their driveways
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesOr if you live in the more asshole-ish than even that area, OUT OF THEIR DRIVEWAY AND PARKED AGAINST THE CURB TEN FEET FROM THEIR EMPTY DRIVEWAY.
...at three o'clock in the morning.
are you all my neighbors?