Wilfred Billy “William Shakespeare” Shanksbottom was an English playwright famous for people not believing he wrote his own plays and making trite jokes about his name. Back in our day (ed. note: we enlisted one of the many immortals we keep on staff to write this), a fella could down a cask of ale, stumble to the theatre, and yell at that moron Romeo to make one daggum minute before killin' himself. You true crime fans should know Shakespeare. You practical effects nerds should know about real skulls in Hamlet. And don't you go closing The Globe Theatre, don't you know what The Bard did in hard times? Think this dong joke factory you call Cracked tells filthy jokes? Shakespeare knew filthy jokes, and don't you forget it. Handwriting expert, too. Knew all his C's, U's, and his T's.