According to a recent study shared by ABC News, NY Mag, Gizmodo, and even WebMD, it turns out that hand dryers spread the germs of unwashed hands more than paper towels. Why someone who didn't wash their hands would stick them in a hand blower is unclear, but whatever. The point is that these things are a menace and we should all go back to using paper towels instead. Also, coincidentally, this study is being funded by the European Tissue Symposium -- a collective organization of paper-tissue producers and lamest Bond villain group ever.
Wait, they have a picture of trees on their site! We take it back; they can't be evil!
Meanwhile, the Dyson Company claims that the research was done with "unrealistically high levels of bacteria" and on gloved hands, making the results useless. Unless, of course, you're an extreme germaphobe who wears gloves all day, or Dr. Colossus from The Simpsons.
Who's right? We'd rather not take a side in what is clearly just a PR war between two companies (though a microbiologist did agree that the study was flawed) ... but just in case, we're sticking with the old "discreetly drying your hands on your pants as you walk out" technique.
There's No Proof That E-Cigarettes Give Your Computer Malware
There's still a lot to be determined about the safety of e-cigarettes, like whether they really do any damage to your health or whether it's humanly possible to smoke them without looking like a giant dork. So, obviously, the last thing the media should do is spread panic before collecting all the facts and ... oh, never mind.
Now comes the hardest decision of all: cancer or lose your ability to browse porn?