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Ways The Harry Potter Universe Is Incredibly Dark

By:: Cracked Writers; Ryan Menezes

June 09, 2020

Ways The Harry Potter Universe Is Incredibly Dark

When fans insist on comparing everything in the world to Harry Potter, the obligatory response is "Please, read another book." But we're convinced people have far to go before they're done analyzing the wizarding world. We've rounded up messed-up sides of this universe before, and now, here are even more underexamined ways this story is darker than you realized.

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HAGRID'S FATHER WAS A TINY LITTLE MAN. His MOTHER WAS A GIANTESS. How was this tiny man able to successfully impregnate a titanic woman whose womb was — For details, read The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied by 'Harry Potter'

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MBLEDORE HAS AMAZING MAGIC ITEMS. He USES EACH JUST ONCE, OR NEVER. Phoenix tears cure some poison and then are never touched again. His secret time t — For details, read 4 Badass Fictional Revolutions You Never Realized Are Stupid

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FCH S UNABLE TO PERFORM MAGIC. So HE'S A WEIRD CHOICE FOR CARETAKER. Spells grab garbage, and maps track people, so why is Filch there? What a frustra — For details, read 6 Movie Characters Whose Jobs Made No Sense Whatsoever

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Ron TRES TO TURN HiS RAT INTO A GOBLET. He FAILS AND MAKES A RODENT HYBRID. That rat is secretly a human, Peter Pettigrew. Yeah, he's a villain, but b — For details, read 5 Beloved Children's Films That Are Secretly Terrifying

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MoANiNg YRTLE HAUNTS THE BATHROOM. NO ONE TRIES TO HELP HER MOVE ON. Assuming she's into it, you've got a pubescent dead voyeur watching school-age bo — For details, read Top 6 Reasons Harry Potter Isn't For Kids

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EVERYTHING s A LETHAL WEAPON. E ol TREES, ANIMALS, PEOPLE, OBJECTS. Give the wrong character a sock, and they're suddenly a demigod who can destroy yo — For details, read 4 Badass Fictional Revolutions You Never Realized Are Stupid

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THE MiniSTER OF Magic KS ELECTED. BUt HE EFFECTIVELY RUNS A DiCTATORSHIP. We don't mean when Voldemort takes over. We're talking about the rest of the — For details, read 5 Horrifying Realities Of The 'Harry Potter' Government

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CEDRIC DIGGORY LIVED AMONG MUGGLES. ONE YEAR, HE NEVER CAME BACK TO THEM. Regardless of how much the Diggorys kept to themselves, at some point, someo — For details, read 5 Films That Are Horrifying If You Switch Their Perspectives

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A SECRET KEEPER HIDES SECRET PLACES. THE POTTERS PICKED PETER AS THEIRS. But the Potters didn't have to take the risk of trusting someone else. We lat — For details, read 5 Sequels That Introduce Huge Plotholes To The Originals

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FAH, RON'S RAT is A GROWN MAN. He LIVED WITH RON FOR 12 YEARS. 12 years of sleeping next to a little boy who eventually goes through puberty. That wou — For details, read 5 Beloved Children's Films That Are Secretly Terrifying

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WE'RE PREPARED FOR TERRORISTS. WHAT ABOUT WIZARD TERRORISTS? They can pop into the cockpit of a plane and zap the pilot dead with their wand. Not only — For details, read 5 Horrifying Realities Of The 'Harry Potter' Government

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POLYJUKCE HAS CREEPY MPLICATIONS. EVEN BEYOND NORMAL DiSGUSE AND FRAUD. Imagine the wizarding black market for the hairs of, say, famous starlets, wit — For details, read The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied by 'Harry Potter'

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HARRY IS ABUSED Hs WHOLE YOUNG LIFE. He DOES NOTHING ABOUT IT. Harry should have gone to the police, a neighbor, a teacher, anyone willing to hear he — For details, read 5 Huge Children's Movies That Teach Kids Horrifying Lessons

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LUCkUs TRIES TO MURDER HARRY. NO ONE CARES OR EVEN REACTS. In Chamber of Secrets, he throws a killing curse after losing his elf. Harry doesn't file c — For details, read 6 Movie Scenes With Horrifying Off-Screen Consequences

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MALFOY GOES FROM BULLY TO MUCH WORSE. He GETS THE SAME NICE ENDING AS HARRY . Is this an inspiring tale of redemption? Or a weirdly positive message a — For details, read 5 Movies That Totally Forgot To Punish Their Villain

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THE MARAUDER'S MAp SHOWS FIICH'S CAT. IT SHOWS NO OTHER ANIMALS. Except for humans who have transformed into animals. So, it looks like Mrs. Norris ha — For details, read The Untold Story Behind The Hogwarts Cat

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PRANK A KiD, SAYING THEY'RE ADOPTED. THEY'RE RE SECRETLY THE CHOSEN ONE! You might think this is a harmless fantasy, until you realize every young Har — For details, read Top 6 Reasons Harry Potter Isn't For Kids

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THE GINGER WITCH APPEARS IN 7 FILMS. GINGER WITCH RELEASED FROM AZKABAN I lal itae uhbed Blat~ noaio adi tlititte. Htplhlu Damall 4ppond lanbit af tht — For details, read 7 Secret Jokes You Never Noticed In The Background Of Movies

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WHENEVER KIDS NEED SOMETHING HIDDEN... - THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT APPEARS. It is indifferent to the morality of what occurs within it. So generations — For details, read Sexual Ramifications Of Harry Potter's Room Of Requirement

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