5 Sequels That Introduce Huge Plotholes To The Originals

5

Rogue One Turns Leia's First Meeting With Darth Vader Into An Awkward Comedy Scene

Rogue One (or Star Wars: Episode III.V) is basically a feature-length attempt to explain why the Death Star was so easy to blow up now that "a Wookie slave got the shits" is no longer the canon explanation. While the film manages to provide a solid enough reason for why an entire moon-sized space station could be brought down by two tiny-ass rockets, it inadvertently turns the beginning of the first Star Wars into a comedy.

See, Rogue One concludes with a massive battle over the planet Scarif, as the Rebels attempt to steal the Death Star plans in order to blow that shit up in another movie. They succeed, and the plans are transferred to Princess Leia's ship using ancient space WiFi.

LucasfilmImagine how ridiculously long it takes to load up two titties.

Polar Express Leia and her blockade runner manage to escape the chaos and jump into hyperspace right before Darth Vader murders the hell out of every living thing. It's an undeniably nerdgasmic ending, but ... let's back up a second here. So this new movie retroactively says Leia was physically present at the battle where the Death Star plans were stolen. So was Darth Vader. He saw Leia's exact ship escape with his own (presumably frowny) eyes.

LucasfilmPlease imagine a very upset Hayden Christensen under the helmet.

And yet when Vader catches up and boards her ship at the beginning of Star Wars, Leia tries to pretend that she's on a "diplomatic mission." Again, Vader literally just watched her fly here from a fucking space battle. That's like taking a dump in the middle of a police station, then slowly walking backward out the front door without ever breaking eye contact with the chief of police. Leia may look ridiculous trying to pull that off, but Vader arguably looks even sillier for getting all flustered and even bothering to argue with her sad excuse of an excuse. It's almost like a deleted scene from Spaceballs.

At that point, Leia should have just claimed a womp rat ate the plans, or that she flushed them down the toilet. Anything is better than "Oh no, you must be looking for some other princess who recently came from that off-limits planet where a major theft occurred."

4

According To The Winter Soldier, Tony Stark Is A Godawful Hacker

Being impossibly good with technology is Tony Stark's whole superpower. In The Avengers, for instance, he manages to plant a hacking device into the database of a goddamn superspy agency, S.H.I.E.L.D., allowing his AI butler J.A.R.V.I.S. to learn "everything" about the secretive organization. How did Nick Fury lose his eye? What shampoo does Thor use? Does Bruce Banner's penis grow along with the rest of his body? Tony now knows the answers to all these questions.

Marvel Studios"The answer to the Hulk's dick and Fury's eye questions are related. Fascinating."

3

The Machines From The Matrix Turned Out To Be Dumb As Hell

About 80 percent of you have probably seen The Matrix Reloaded, but only five can recall what happened in it (that's five people, not percent). So let's recap: In the first movie, we met the Oracle, a cookie-loving old lady who can see the future. She's the one who tells our heroes about the prophecy of "The One" -- he who will defeat humanity's machine overlords and free all those people trapped inside a next-gen Oculus Rift.

Warner Bros."Eh, still better than a headset."

Thanks to key pieces of information given by the Oracle to different characters, Neo (Keanu Reeves) realizes his potential as the One and becomes incredibly powerful. The final shot of the first movie has him shooting off into the sky to fingerblast the machines into submission. The power was within him all along; he just needed to believe!

By the second movie, however, we learn that the Oracle is in truth a machine herself. She tells Neo that all his questions about himself and what he's supposed to do can be answered by "The Architect" at "The Source." After dealing with some stupid bullshit designed to make the movie last more than 20 minutes, Neo finally reaches the Architect and finds out that ... everything he's been told is a lie. Wait, again?

Warner Bros."I'm extremely pissed off right now."

2

Karate Kid 2 Turns Mr. Miyagi Into A Bullshit Artist

Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid is the second-most-beloved short, wise, broken-English-speaking fighting master to come out of the '80s, which is saying a lot. Thanks to Karate Kid 2, however, he's probably also a pathetic con man.

The first Karate Kid strongly implies that Miyagi was born to Japanese parents in America. We're told he attended UCLA, was forced into an internment camp during World War II, and then fought in the 442nd Division -- a unit almost entirely made out of Japanese-American soldiers. Miyagi in particular crane-kicked so many Nazis that he was awarded a Medal of Honor.

Columbia PicturesThey couldn't give him a special design with a badass kicking silhouette or something? Really?

1

Harry Potter's Parents Died Because Of A Dumb Oversight

The Harry Potter books and movies are full of silly, fantastic plot devices, but we expect some consistency in our silly, fantastic plot devices, dammit.

Warner Bros."Expecto familiarus!"

Case in point: There's a special type of spell in the Potter-verse whereby a location can be hidden forever as long as the secret of its existence is kept by a designated "Secret Keeper." While hiding from the murderous Voldemort, Harry Potter's parents made their old pal Peter Pettigrew their Secret Keeper. Unfortunately, Pettigrew betrayed the Potters and shared their whereabouts with Voldemort, before shapeshifting into a rat and spending more than a decade hiding inside a young boy's pants. If you've never read/watched Harry Potter, we want to stress that no part of the last sentence is a joke.

Anyway, Voldemort uses the information to find and kill the Potters in front of their surprisingly resilient baby, thus kicking off this entire franchise. But here's the thing: It turns out that the Potters didn't have to take the risk of entrusting someone else (voyeuristic rats or otherwise) with their secret. In Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, as the characters are hiding from Wizard Hitler's second coming, we learn that some of them are Secret Keepers for their own hideouts. Specifically, Arthur and Bill Weasley are:

Bloomsbury"Incidentally, here's a secret: Your dad was a moron."