The People Catching STDs Are Not Who You Think
Most of our patients are 20-to-32-year-old women. They're usually single, sexually active, and very knowledgeable about their bodies and basic genital science. But then there are people outside that age group, those irresponsible horn-dogs boning it up left and right, despite rampant STDs and unplanned pregnancies. You know who I'm talking about:
"I didn't have any protection when I took the beach at Normandy; why would I need it for this?"
There are so many old people having sex. Turns out that The Golden Girls was more documentary than comedy. STDs among the elderly have doubled in the last decade. We do a lot of pap smears and tests on elderly women, and issue a ton of birth control to them. Yes, geriatric pregnancy is a thing that happens. My clinic finally had to stop offering abortion services to anyone over 55, because those are so much more complicated and dangerous that we just couldn't afford to keep doing it. This isn't only a problem for my weird little clinic in Freakville, California, either. Over in the UK, the number of abortions for women over 40 has risen 30 percent in the last fourteen years.
Hey, they call it menopause, not menostop.
Robert Evans is Cracked's editorial manager, and you can follow him on Twitter.
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