And that training starts early -- overall, Mr. Lee says about 30 percent of his education was useless because it only pertained to the Kim family. There were classes when he was younger on the lives of Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung, but when he got older, the teacher would spend 10 minutes talking about the Kim of the day and his accomplishments and then sprinkle more stories during other classes. Imagine if your algebra teacher had to link every lesson back to George Washington, and also George Washington was a living, ridiculous-looking little man.

North Korean schools treat world history as an afterthought, the way American schools treat art classes. He learned about World War I and II and the Allied and Axis powers, but not the Italian Renaissance. He's aware of things like Sputnik, but he wasn't aware that an American was the first man on the moon (he was aware that someone landed on the moon, but they never specified whether it was an American or a Russian). You're also forced to participate in mass games, from middle school on. You've seen demonstrations like this:

Icactus
It's like a television with shitty resolution, but made of people.

Well, ever wonder how those kids get so precise with their movements? It's because they start training for it at a young age (including on weekends), and North Korean teachers don't hesitate to use corporal punishment.

And the parents know to do their part. Another of our sources, who lived in North Korea for several years as the grandson of an ambassador, relayed this story:

"All over Pyongyang are pictures of the Great Leader surrounded by flowers, and regular flocks of adoring citizenry ... they would go to these little kiosks to buy flowers, and then set those flowers out at the shrines. Later in the day people with push carts come, pick up the flowers, and bring them back to the kiosks to resell to more people."

Geovien so / Flickr / Getty
And the great circle of foliage goes on.

"One time I saw this little girl, maybe 4 or 5, she trundled up with a pretty big bouquet -- almost as big as her, but she carried it to the shrine one-handed. Her parents rushed in, screaming at her. Dad slapped her full on the face. The crime? Not using two hands to lay down those flowers. So they bought her a bigger bouquet, this one was even bigger than the little girl, and she laid that down with both hands."

Ed Jones / AFP / Getty
"FLOWERS FOR THE FLOWER GOD!"

That's what happens when the punishment for a public fuck-up is prison camp. For you see ...

Our source in the [anonymous nation's] embassy recalls the time a high-ranking North Korean officer took him aside and -- in English -- came shockingly close to criticizing the regime:

"He said, 'It's a shame, what's happening ... but our leader will take us to the right path.' He left a pause in the middle, and I think the first half was to share his opinion with me and the second is what he had to say ... I saw his assistant look at him during the pause, and I kind of worry about him today. I never saw that guy at another event."

Mr. Lee told us that foreign movies and gadgets are smuggled into North Korea regularly, but not out in the open. Dealers will spot a likely buyer and approach them in the market. "They'll start with Chinese movies, and then maybe if you're receptive move on to the American stuff." In other words, Hollywood films are the heroin of North Korea's black market (along with actual heroin, of course).

"Anchorman 2? Not. Even. Once."

All this adds up to a hermit kingdom that's much less isolated than you might expect based solely on the news. Mr. Lee was able to speak with family members in South Korea, including a sister who escaped several years before he did. North Koreans are quite aware that famine isn't an everyday fact of life in America, or even South Korea. And rather than just shooting everyone who figured this out, the North Korean government has adapted their propaganda.

Michael Malice, Kim Jong Il's unofficial biographer and one of the rare Americans to visit Pyongyang, explained, "The propaganda used to be 'We have nothing to envy.' Now that the outside is creeping in, they claim they're maintaining the idea of Korea while South Korea is being raped by America."

Jonas Gratzer / LightRocket / Getty
"Lies ... find a way."

Once Mr. Lee's sister made it to South Korea and confirmed that this "rape" by America was more of a "friends with benefits" sort of thing, he began to plan his own escape. That's when he found ...

Any North Korean who escapes does so accepting the risk that their whole family might wind up in a labor camp if the government catches on. Mr. Lee (who used a fake name and would only Skype us with his face obscured by shadows) had to craft an elaborate web of lies before he fled the country. Our translator described it as essentially the same thing as telling your parents you're "staying the night with a friend" so you can go out and party. Only instead of getting grounded, your entire family is worked to death in a labor camp if someone finds out.

Photos.com/Photos.com/Getty Images
Pretend there's a joke here, and not a sobering reminder of unspeakable tragedy.

Mr. Lee made his escape two years ago. Fortunately, smuggling refugees out of the Kim family's own personal murderous Disney World isn't just something that happens from time to time -- it's a bona fide international industry. Lee's sister set him up with the man-smugglers and paid for everything, because people actually living in North Korea don't tend to have the kind of money anyone else might care to use. And if you think it's just a matter of someone sneaking you across the border to South Korea, think again. Even if that's your destination, you have to take the long way if you don't want to get shot several thousand times before you even see the fence.

Mr. Lee was smuggled out through a network of brokers, via a journey consisting of hiking, buses, and cars from North Korea into China, then to Vietnam, and then to South Korea. Each portion of the trip had a different broker who specialized in smuggling North Koreans along a set route. Mr. Lee followed each broker's instructions and had to trust that none of them would deliver him right back to the Thought Police. At various points along the trip, he'd call home to say "I'm safe in Beijing" or "I'm safe in Saigon." Once his sister heard from him, she'd wire the next portion of cash, and on it went.

Thomas Northcut/Photodisc/Getty
When the cellphones started coming bundled with Snake, he knew he was on his way to freedom.

Obviously, the business of smuggling North Koreans is illegal in North Korea, but it's also illegal in every single country along that route. If you can make it to South Korea, you're safe, but the broker networks are illegal there, too, so it's not like there's any quality control or ability to complain if they, say, abduct you into slavery. As the backer in South Korea, you risk paying thousands and thousands of dollars for the privilege of having a loved one betrayed or murdered.

But that didn't happen. Mr. Lee was delivered into a part of the world with soap operas instead of mass games, Internet gaming cafes instead of labor camps, and the sport of competitive eating instead of regular famine. That's when he found ...