Soren Bowie
Soren is an American of some importance. He has amassed great wealth which is now in jeopardy. He is in need of persons with whom his family has no relationship. He seeks your cooperation and assistance in the transfer of 8,000,000.00 to your private bank account in Nigeria. To show his appreciation he will offer you 15% of the total sum including 20% of interest earned. Please treat this issue confidentially. Please send him your bank account number as well as a color photocopy of a Nigerian passport so he is certain you are a real resident. He waits to hear from you.
4 Hiking Guides That Are Honest About Why People Go Hiking
If the explorers who pen these guides, and whose careers I've surely saved, wanted to name a snow-capped mountain after me, I certainly couldn't stop them.
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- By Soren Bowie
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Introducing Two Wealthy Young Celebrities You Will Soon Hate
The Brant brothers make the Kardashians look like they deserve to be famous.
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- By Soren Bowie
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4 Unhealthy Mentalities the Internet Turned into Movements
Hopefully this will help us to remember that even when two or more people agree on something, it doesn't mean it automatically stops being stupid.
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- By Soren Bowie
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4 In-Flight Magazine Essays No One Has the Balls to Publish
If on your next flight you wanted to print out of a copy of these and glue them inside your in-flight magazine, I'm not sure how anyone could stop you, provided your glue container is less than 3.5 ounces
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- By Soren Bowie
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What Obamacare Means to the Jerk Who Stole My Girlfriend
The government hates sick people. With the historic decision on June 28th to uphold the Affordable Care Act, the Supreme Court has effectively given Obama the authority to wipe his fancy loafers all over your constitutional right to be ill.
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- By Soren Bowie
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Hire Me to Bully Your Child! A Real Craigslist Ad
I know how important it is to you that your children feel confident and safe in every pursuit and passion of their young lives, and I am a firm believer that it takes a village. But let me be perfectly clear, I am offering none of that.
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- By Soren Bowie
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Why Every '80s Sitcom Decided to Kill Off the Mom
When sitcoms so accurately reflect the collective climate of the time period in which they are created, you have to wonder why, then, networks decided the 1980s was a good time to start killing off moms.
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- By Soren Bowie
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The 5 Most Humiliating Ways the Wilderness Can Kill You
Like any relationship between parents and their grown offspring, Mother Nature and humanity get along best when they don't have to see each other very often. And here's why.
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- By Soren Bowie
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The 4 Most Baffling Trends in Old-Timey Album Covers
The cover art on records from the 1950s and 60s is so confusing and removed from reality that it looks like it was created in an alternate dimension.
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- By Soren Bowie
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4 Things I Regret Doing While Drunk in Your Emergency Room
Dear Doctor, I feel like I need to clear the air about a few things that happened the night you stitched up my face.
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- By Soren Bowie
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5 Tips for Pairing Cheap Beers with Personal Failures
So you let yourself down. That's OK, it happens to everyone, though probably not to the same degree or with the same consistency as it happens to you. But that's OK: I'm here to help.
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- By Soren Bowie
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A Bizarre New Trend in Advertising: Sexualizing Illness
Sex has always been the silver bullet of advertising, until now!
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- By Soren Bowie
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The 5 Depressing Lessons We Learned from Highlights Magazine
I can't say for certain whether most of what Highlights taught me was intentional, but with a slogan like 'Fun with a Purpose' I have a hard time believing they did anything that wasn't deliberate.
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- By Soren Bowie
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4 Beloved Fictional Characters Who Slaughter Their Own Kind
Of all the lessons we can take from the cinematic fable 'Blade II', the most important one comes when Blade's friend, Scud betrays humanity for the chance to be a pet instead of livestock under the rule of vampires.
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- By Soren Bowie
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The 5 Stupidest Technology Questions Ever Googled
As you try to understand technology better, where can you turn for honest answers? Sadly, many stupid people ask the Internet, itself a piece of technology and therefore clearly biased.
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- By Soren Bowie
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TMZ's Bus Tour: The Creepiest View of America Money Can Buy
For the modest price of $50 a person, TMZ permits you to idle in Los Angeles traffic, to see the stars themselves clustered like constellations and, if you are very lucky, to touch one right on the face as it eats from your hand.
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- By Soren Bowie
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5 Lessons You Learn Growing Up Rich
I kept my eyes open through childhood and learned some valuable lessons that I want to pass on. These are the five most important things I gleaned growing up rich.
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- By Soren Bowie
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The 6 Most Baffling Classic Rock Songs About Women
There is something about earnest love songs that always makes me think, 'Man, I am a way better storyteller than musicians.'
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- By Soren Bowie
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4 Hilariously Unexpected Feuds Between Fringe Groups
In the interest of understanding these communities and their crazy ideologies a little better, you have to first understand who they align themselves against, and in nearly every case, it's the people who share their convictions. I realize that's confusing, so let me show you what I mean.
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- By Soren Bowie
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