Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and your favorite comedy writer. He first rose to prominence in 1984 when he was pulled on stage to dance during a Bruce Springsteen music video. He has since done many other things.
As much as it might seem like a great idea, having a giant robot would be a disaster, ruining everything you value, both in this life and the next one.
There's just something about showers -- the way the heat and the pounding water and the feeling of soaping up our soapables prods our minds into a more creative state.