Every year, politeness and powerful maternal forces in our lives make us write Thank You cards to our loved ones and acquainted ones. It's a format which encourages politeness but also, if we're being honest, quite a bit of forgettable inanity.

Here's what they'd look like if they had balls.




Thank you tti Aunt Jean, thanks for the sweater. So sorry you couldn't be at christmas this year, we had a great time without you. Chris




Thark you ey bro, thanks for the copy of Fallout 4 and the corkscrew thing. Still can't believe mom makes US write these things to each other each yea




Thanh you Dad, thanks for the copy of Pokemon Moon. Just so you know, it's a children's game for children that's about children capturing childlike an




Thark you Hey Aunt Susan, thanks for the sweater. It was nicer than the one Aunt Jean got for me. Also, unlike Jean, I'm genuinely sorry you couldn't




Thark you tti Mom, thanks for the chocolates and the stuff in the stocking and the books and the ski socks and the new gloves. Also, I'm sorry about w




Thark you ti Grandma, thanks for the scarf. [ really liked it, and it's already come in handy! Love, chris




The 13 Greatest Thank You Cards Ever




The 13 Greatest Thank You Cards Ever




Thark you Hey Sis, thanks for the whatever, honestly, does it even matter? Sorry about giving you the copy of Fallout 4-. [ already had one, so didn't

...at my ability to think on my feet like that? What moxie! [ imagine you saying, giving me all according christmas praise. If you care, the main pr




Thank you tti Aunt Yvette, thanks SO much for the books. E love all of these authons the MOST and will treasure them for the rest of my life. Did like

...but just wanted to ensure you got nothing but the best on christmas Day. And if that means you think nothing but the best of me, I'm willing to acc




The 13 Greatest Thank You Cards Ever

...dramatically better and more expensive than your fucking food processor or whatever. But that was unintentional. am not consciously trying to under




Thark you Hey cousin Niko, thanks for the book you got me. It looks... fine. didn't ask for it, but know you tried. that's what counts. Also, yes, am




Thark you tti Sweetie, thank you for the nice gloves and the shint and the watch. It was all perfect and [ feel very lucky for having You. L hope you




Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and is so thankful, just the most thankful ever. As the author of the amazing novels, Freeze/Thaw and Severance he thinks you should definitely go buy both of those now. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.

For more check out 5 Weird Psychological Dangers of Giving People Gifts and The Worst Thank You Card Ever Sent.

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