Ladies and Gentlemen, distinguished readers, spambots, trolls, and easily offended moms here by accident from Facebook -- Thank you for joining me in The State of the Union.
For all of you who live in places without seasons, here's why the fall is so great: dark days, strange skies and the smoky scent of mortality mixed with fear.
The beach is a simple place where people go to relax, escape their obligations and have painful, gritty sex under the boardwalk. But bathers are often unprepared for how crowded, and deadly, the beach can be.
I interned briefly as a reader at a literary agency, meaning I read hundreds of submissions -- or rather, I read several submissions wearing hundreds of masks. And I'm going to share what I learned with you.
