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27 Super Cringey Stories of Summer Misfortune

By:: Cracked Writers; Brian C. Miller

August 02, 2023

27 Super Cringey Stories of Summer Misfortune

No matter what generation you're from, you probably have at least some affection for the classic summer experience. After all, there’s a special magic that comes with memories of hanging out by the pool, playing Pokemon (or the equivalent fad of your childhood) and the heavenly feeling of movie theater air conditioning.

But summer isn’t all puppies, rainbows and ice cream. Here are some of the best stories we’ve collected from Cracked readers about their crazy experiences at terrible minimum-wage jobs and the lies they told in the schoolyard once they returned from their summer breaks.

Bring back any memories?

27 We truly hope this camp legend is real.

... TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES Someone upper-decked a Samsonite GRAGKED Noah U. says At the summer camp I attended, there was, reportedly, a teenage girl who took a deuce in a rival girl's luggage. Could never confirm it, despite my grandfather being the camp's maintenance man. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

26 It's all about perspective

... TELL US NOW. Wilson В. shredded his ST. lawnmower's filter on his first day working 5 for a hospital grounds crew. JBG Не felt better when he learned that another worker had ripped the tail off a rescue helicopter with his mower. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

25 I want a big sandwich, please. BIG.

TELL US NOW. ... A customer Jessica J. served took issue with his roast beef sandwich. After he gets it, he throws it on the counter, and demands his money back because it wasn't as big as the picture. The picture being a 3 foot by 5 foot window cling advert. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

24 Permission to the save the building, sir?

TELL US NOW. ... When Ken S. was working at a fast food place, he spotted a deep fat fryer that was on fire. Не managed to put it out. A few days later, the manager actually wrote me up for 'using a fire extinguisher without a manager's permission. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

23 A Nice Set of Bowels for $10

TELL US NOW. ... Toni А. worked at a thrift store with a spelling- impaired manager. I looked in at the start of one shift and saw a set of cereal bowls she'd placed in there with a hand-written sign declaring 'NICE SET OF BOWELS - $10. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

22 That's some toothbrush

TELL US NOW. ... When Matt J. was a luggage attendant, he opened a suitcase to turn off what he thought was an electric toothbrush. It wasn't. Their face when they collected their case and I let them know their 'toothbrush' might not work 'cause it had been vibrating all day was priceless. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

21 Nope. Nope. Nope.

TELL US NOW. ... Teri S. had a job cleaning hotel rooms at age 15. She'd always knock before entering 5 a room. One day after announcing herself twice, I open the door to see a couple in their 40s going at it just staring at me and not stopping. I exited immediately of course. There is no possible way they didn't hear me. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

20 This is a brilliant move, actually

TELL US NOW. ... Mallary т. was interning as a pastry chef in a fancy bakery when a STAT couple made a special request. They wanted a cake made from their homemade oil. Five minutes after putting the thing in the oven I realize the 'avocado' oil they gave me was hash and I was baking a weed cake in the middle of the day well before it was legal. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

19 Truly gnarly

... TELL US NOW. Geoff D. was pulled off his summer job site and asked to help with a bridge demolition. Little did I know I was there only to get a full wetsuit on and be lowered into a LIVE sewer pipe in order to seal it. Let's just say it was lunch time and you could tell. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

18 This definitely happened.

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... Seriously! My brother saw it happen on Pay-per-view! GRACKED Polgas says Ultimate Warrior died because he ruptured a vein while lifting Andre The Giant. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

17 Freddie's Brother

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... My name is... Eddie? Eddie Mercury. GRACKED Mitchell S. says In second grade, a kid belted out Queen's Somebody to Love, then he informed us that his brother was Freddie Mercury. Two years later, at a semi-pro baseball game, We Will Rock You comes on, and I inform my dad that I know the lead singer's younger brother. I received the most disappointed look from my dad that day. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

16 SHOT THROUGH THE HEART!!

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... Don't ask my mom, though. She doesn't like to talk about it. GRAGKED Matthew P. says My now-friend, then-weird kid in 7th grade, told us he went to Chicago with his family over summer break, and was shot in the heart with a sniper rifle in an alley. To this day he defends it by saying 'I never said it was a sniper, I said it was a pistol. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

15 The Axe haircut

... TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES Good thing I'm a quadruple black belt in karate! CRACKED Jake В. says When I started 5th grade, my friend Jesse was sporting a ridiculous looking flat-top haircut that he obviously didn't like. Не told me he got into an axe fight with someone and ducked his opponent's swing at the last second, resulting in his new unfortunate haircut. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

14 This isn't crazy for Action Park

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... Childish lie? Or a typical day at Action Park? GRACKED Adam M. says At the local water park, I was told of a kid who went down one slide too fast, hit the turn, and got launched into the neighboring slide. Now I know that is ridiculous, but at the time I was afraid of going too fast down the water slides. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

13 Bathroom Souvenir

TELL US NOW. ... A man came in and used the bathroom that Pedro L. was cleaning, when he was a bagger at a grocery store. The dude walked straight out without washing his hands, and left a a souvenir behind - his completely soiled underwear on the toilet. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

12 Baked on the Job

TELL US NOW. ... Jared D. had to clean up after his supervisor at his summer maintenance job. Не got so baked that he managed to gouge a wall while painting near the fuse box and managed to cut the wires with his paint scraper. I had to rewire the entire place to cover for him because he was the dealer for the managers. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

11 Water Balloon Condoms

... TELL US NOW. When Andrew с. was a summer SA camp counselor, the staff had a water balloon fight. His team was losing, but the suddenly rallied. As they were cleaning up, he found out why. One of the counselors had been using condoms, when the team's balloons ran out. The campers had questions. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

10 Commercial loops are a crime

TELL US NOW. ... Adam K.'s summer job at a home improvement store forced him to listen to the commercial theme on continuous loop. MILK ema КАК DAN 45 REP-002 NISTAN RPM A. 007-45-A PIRINGAN WASHN PEMSUATAN TA J TINN MAK HINE OR Iringan Orban JOHIN HARDI- days Bonte - FALIDARS ARV: SAN I was working full time, so I heard it something on the lines of 240 times a shift. Friday nights that year, I would wake up with terror tremens at 3 À.M. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

9 Oh, gross.

TELL US NOW. ... On Dawn T.'s first day at an ice cream place, STA she was asked to make all the shakes. Turns out the other employees just wanted to watch her shake. After I clocked out, I never went back, she says. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

8 Dishwashers Know The Secrets

... TELL US NOW. Dave В. washed dishes at the fanciest restaurant in his hometown. For entertainment I would use the sprayer to knock the huge bugs off the wall. To this day I won't eat there. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: Horrifying Summer Job Stories

7 Donny's their cousin! Really!

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... One more day and you would've had 'em. GRACKED Victoria V. says The girls that lived next door told me Donny Osmond was their cousin, and he was coming to visit them. For 3 days I played my 45 of One Bad Apple, hoping he'd hear and come outside to meet me. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

6 Hangin' with the 'Formers

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... Good thinking. The paparazzi are all over Optimus Prime. GRACKED Brendan S. says In first grade I told everyone I hung out with an actual Transformer all summer. I think it was Jazz, cause Optimus Prime would've been a bit unbelievable. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

5 We're still looking for Luigi

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... Maybe if you'd gotten that 121st Power Star... NN OnlyFor 3 CRACKED John S. says So many rumours about Luigi being in the original Super Mario 64. We never quite stopped believing... — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

4 The kid who had every Transformer

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... The price of friendship 41 15 12 12 11 GRACKED Mark S. says A kid told everyone that he owned every Transformer toy, and that on the last day of camp, he was going to give them out to his friends. Of course it wasn't true. In retrospect, it's very sad. That kid thought no one would be his friend without bribes. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

3 Ah, the ol' twin scam

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... TWINS, Basil! GRACKED Shauna M. says I was the liar. I was 10. Since I am really adopted, I told my friend that I had a long lost twin sister. I even pretended to be her. Shame on 10-year-old me! — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

2 This is too real.

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... Uh yeah, it's called the American dream CRACKED Mitch P. says When I was a kid, I heard this story about how, if you worked hard at school and got good grades, you could get a good job, buy a house and be set for life. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

1 Camp Curfew is serious business

TELL US NOW: SUMMERTIME LIES ... She REALLY hates campers who... stay up past curfew 100 GRACKED Richard S' counselors told him this doozy: A medical student was locked in a dark room filled with cadavers for days. When she was finally released, she ran out of the room while eating a cadaver arm, blood oozing from the sides of her mouth. Her skin had turned white. Her fingernails grew into claws, and her red hair stood up from her head. She turned up at our camp and periodically ate some campers. — Source: Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break

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