67 of the Best Steven Wright Jokes on His 67th Birthday

Strip your voice of any indication that you’re alive and recite these over and over for Steven’s birthday — thanks

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Leeches!?

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ONE CRACKED FACT

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He turned down the power, so he could turn up the romance.

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30 Fan Theories That Just Click

By:: Eric B

November 01, 2021

Sometimes things just click, like delightful puzzle pieces snapping into place. The Lion King to Zootopia evolution is frankly too on the nose to ignore. Read on, but be warned: you may never see these franchises the same way again...

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CRACKED.COM HOUSE THE W WAS) The West Wing was set in an alternate universe where Richard Nixon was impeached instead of ED pardoned. SEAL — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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НЕ LIVES IN BIKINI BOTTOM. HIS NEIGHBORS ARE SANDY CHEEKS AND A STARFISH. BIKINI BOTTOM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS A TAMPON. CRACKED COM — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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CRACKED.COM STAN LEE PLAYS THE SAME CHARACTER IN EVERY MARVEL MOVIE. НЕ IS UATU. THE WATCHER IN HUMAN FORM. — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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IN 1962, THE US GOVERNMENT CAPTURED 'JOHN MASON' 9 A BRITISH OPERATIVE SUSPECTED OF STEALING STATE SECRETS. JOHN MASON'S CODE NAME? BOND. JAMES BOND. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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The Jetsons and Flintstones live in the same future - a future divided by income class. CRACKED COM — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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PARSECS? HAN KNEW НЕ WAS JUST BETTER. TOSSING JARGON OUT TO TEST THE BACKWATER RUBES BEFORE SETTING HIS PRICE. THEY FAILED. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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CRACKED.COM THE COUNT FEASTS OH THE BLOOD OF THE CHILDREN WHO WANDER INTO SESAME STREET. WHICH 15 WHY YOU NEVER SEE THEM FOR VERY LONG. — Source: 25 Fan (Non-Batty )Theories

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A lot of Lord of the Rings fans have asked why the Fellowship didn't just ride the giant eagles into Mordor. But maybe that was Gandalf's plan, and the reason his dying words were fly, you fools! CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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How does Neville Longbottom go from zero to hero? Не gets a new wand. In the Harry Potter universe, a wand must choose its owner, not the other way around. At first, Neville has trouble because he uses his dad's wand. When, during the battle in the Department of Mysteries, the wand breaks, a new wand chooses him, and he becomes a badass wizard. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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Snoke is Palpatine's mentor Darth Plagueis. STAR WARS Palpatine tried to kill Plagueis (who could save people from death), and thought Plagueis died. Well, Snoke looks just like someone brought back from near-death. And John Williams uses the same, unique music motif when Palpatine talks about Plagueis, and when Snoke is on-screen. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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PULP FICTION Fabienne Butch * Dreams of * Talks longingly his father about wanting * Decides it's time a pot belly to get out of a * Lavishly details dangerous business what she wants * Risks his life for breakfast for his father's * Butch calls her watch Little mamacita Fabienne is pregnant. Не goes back for the watch, so he can pass it down to the child they will soon have. In a sense... his biological clock is ticking. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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Sandy never made it past this scene GREASE BECAUSE SHE DIED. Danny never saved her from drowning at the beach and the whole movie is a dream she has while she is dying. This explains the ending where she flys away in the car. The flight represents her soul going to heaven. GRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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The Dilophosamrus doesn't attack Nedry at first because she wants to mate with him. The dinosauris playful at first, possibly having mistaken his yellow rain poncho as a mating display. Her tone changes when Nedry puts on a threat display by raising his hood, and she doesnt raise her own frill or attack, until after he's fallen down, revealing himself to be meat, not mate. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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The Dursleys are awful to Harry because he's a Horcrux. Harry Potter Everybody who had a Horcrux around for a while became brainwashed (like Ginny Weasley in Chamber of Secrets) or very bad-tempered (like Ron and Hermione in Deathly Hallows Part 1), and the Dursleys lived with Harry for over 10 years. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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CRACKED COM The Good Place is actually Michael's personal Bad Place. From the mid-point of Season Two and on, Michael has been in a constant state of anxiety, always worrying that he's about to be erased from the universe. That's the exact variety of torture that he had arranged for the humans when he was creating a Bad Place to torture them in forever. — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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CRACKED.COM ERNATURAL SUPERNATURAL Things keep getting worse for the Winchester brothers every season, as the body count of people they care about goes up. Fans believe that it may be due to the fact that they broke a bunch of mirrors while fighting Bloody Mary back in Season 1. As we all know, breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck. — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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Are Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda from Sex and the City too archetypal to be real? Sarah Jessica Parker thinks that Carrie made them up, as characters in her column. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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The Lion King, Disney's THE Disney's Robin LION KING Hood, and Zootopia are all set in the same world with the lions maintaining peace. The Lion King starts the beginning of peace between predator and prey, which leads to the more familiar world we PO ND3ENI see in Robin Hood with King Richard. The AC world then becomes modern with Leodore as the leader of Zootopia. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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A fan theory claims that Ferris Bueller is stuck in a Groundhog Day-like loop. On his day off, Ferris's attempts to not get caught by his parents and teacher seemed way too effortless. Like Phil in Groundhog Day, if Ferris were living the same day over and over again, he would have had time to perfect it through trial-and- error. This could also explain Ferris's laissez-faire about going through life. GRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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CRACKED.COM THE REASON WHY THE WEASLEYS ALWAYS GET SORTED TO GRYFFINDOR HOUSE IS BECAUSE THEY'RE DIRECT DESCENDANTS OF GODRIC GRYFFINDOR HIMSELF. — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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The kid who Alan Grant scares shitless in Jurassic Park grows up to be Owen Grady. In the first movie, Dr. Grant demonstrates on a bratty child how velociraptors kill their prey, before telling him to show a little respect. Jurassic World takes place 22 years later, and Grady has a relationship based on mutual respect with the dinosaurs. It would only make sense for the kid, who is called volunteer boy in the end credits, to become a raptor trainer. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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WAS THE BIRD BOX MONSTER A REPRESENTATION OF THE RAPTURE? CRACKED.COM People who look at it see dead people, they call it beautiful and criminals are unaffected by looking at it since they wouldn't be raptured anyway. — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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Why does Ben disappear from Friends? Ross lost custody of his son. Carol and Susan never wanted Ross to be a part of Ben's life. After too many of his antics, they filed for full custody and won. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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In the Daniel Craig James Bond movies,Bond.is so.promiscuous because he's infertile. While on his first ever mission in Casino Royale, Bond gets tortured by the villain Le Chiffre, who does irreparable damage to the spy's double-Os. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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Although Groot is among the heroes who are disintegrated by Thanos at the end of Avengers: Infinity War, fans believe that he is not quite dead yet. The handle of Thor's Stormbreaker axe is made of Groot's arm, and it is not shown to be disintegrating after Thanos has snapped his fingers. Не can be regrown from the Stormbreaker. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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Donkey from Shrek may be one of the boys from Pleasure Island that was transformed into a jackass in Pinocchio. 1. Most of the characters in Shrek are from fairy tales or nursery rhymes (such as The Three Little Pigs, The Three Blind Mice, Pinocchio). 2. Не seems to have memories of being a human (remembers wedgies and swirlies). 3. Despite the fact that other animals can talk, a talking donkey is treated like an anomaly. 4. When Donkey and Puss in Boots switch bodies, Puss can't control his 'hee-haws,' much like the boys from Pleasure Island. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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CRACKED.COM What if The Dark Knight's Joker is an ex-intelligence operative who specialized in interrogation? Talking to the mob, he says, I know the squealers when I see them. When Batman tries to interrogate him, he's in charge, giving tips like Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. And he can figure out important stuff about anyone, like how Harvey Dent values fairness or Commissioner Gordon feels isolated, that lets him screw with them. — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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THE SIMPSONS ME SUCKERS Lyle Lanley wasn't just a conmãn, he was a mass murderer who delighted in killing people via his Poorly-made monorail. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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The Maester Conspiracy: In Game of Thrones, the maesters are secretly erasing all the magic from the world... and they almost succeeded in it. In a world without magic, scholarly men with knowledge would be the ones with power and control over the Seven Kingdoms. The maesters are working behind the scenes to attain this goal by making the dragons go extinct, conspiring against the Targaryens by kickstarting Robert's rebellion and withholding all the information that they see as a threat to themselves. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Fan Theories You Simply Have To Pay Attention To

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30 Fan Theories That Just Click

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Related: 5 Movie Fan Theories That Make More Sense Than the Movie

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