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22 Historical Things We Imagined Completely Wrong

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

August 01, 2021

22 Historical Things We Imagined Completely Wrong

History is imperfect at best. Sure, there are several written accounts and evidence to prove what is fact from fiction, but even then some things are just presumed and perceived as truth. Our perception of time and how we imagine historical artifacts, persons, and destinations play with our heads on occasion, warped by what we watch on TV or in a movie. Even our history teachers don’t do a good job setting the record straight either, as we all know.

Just because the pyramids of Giza are ancient, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get a fast food pepperoni pizza nearby. In spite of every show, movie, or opera saying otherwise, Vikings didn’t wear horned helmets. There were also more Black cowboys than you probably imagined in real life than what you saw on the screen.

Let’s make up for some lost time and knowledge with these historical things that we got completely wrong.

22

The iconic Migrant Mother photo isn't a lucky snapshot: Dorothea Lange carefully composed the image for the greatest impact on the viewer. CRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

21

When you experience art through computer screens and printed reproductions, you often get a false sense of the visual scale that is part of the historical works. 1 meter GRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

20

CRACKED COM Because of black and white photography, Victorian & Edwardian clothing is most often thought of and depicted as black, white, grey, and brown, but they were actually colorful AF. This autochrome photo (a very early color photography technique) from 1914 shows a group of ladies in playful and vivid hues. — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

19

JURASSIC PARK'S VELOCIRAPTORS ARE MISSING THEIR FEATHERS. The real Velociraptor was the size of a turkey, with fully-feathered wings. Crichton's famous creatures are more like a predator named the Deinonychus. GRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

18

One in four cowboys were African-American. In the aftermath of the Civil War, being a cowboy was one of the most popular professions among former slaves. Although they still faced discrimination, they were well-respected among cowboys. CRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

17

NAPOLEON WASN'T SHORT. At 5 feet 6.5 inches, he'd be barely an inch shorter than the average Frenchman today. CRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

16

SURGERY during the CIVIL WAR was not as painful as typically depicted. In fact, 95%of surgical procedures involved anesthesia by the use of chloroform. GRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

15

CRACKED.COM WE DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING IN NIXON'S TAPES. Nixon's White House tapes contain over 3,500 hours of recordings. About 200 make reference to Watergate. By the time of Nixon's death in 1994, only 63 hours had been made public. — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

14

Taj Mahal is one of the seven wonders of the world, a representation of Paradise and a symbol of love. However, the nearby banks of the Yamuna River are covered in garbage which creates a perfect ground for insects to thrive. Slime and air pollution are slowly damaging the mosaics and marble surface of the monument. CRAOM — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

13

CRACKED.COM if planing a trip to Egypt, don't expect your views of the Pyramids of Giza to BE like this. Giza is a modern city and the Great Pyramids are right in the middle of it. AS You can even get a good view from inside Pizza Hut. — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

12

CRACKED.COM THE UNITED STATES BANNED INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE FOR LONGER THAN SOUTH AFRICA. Famously racist South Africa banned people of different races from getting married between 1949 and 1985, or 36 years. The U.S. banned it from 1776 to 1967- a grand total of 191 years. — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

11

THE PYRAMIDS WEREN'T BUILT BY SLAVES. Despite what you've seen in movies, the Egyptian pyramids were the work of paid laborers working on ree-month shifts. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

10

TYRANNOSAURUS REX IS CLOSER TO YOU IN TIME THAN TO STEGOSAURUS. T. rex went extinct 65 million years ago. By then, Stegosaurus had been dead for 85 million years. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

9

CRACKED.COM 1967 1969 1967 If you immediately think of tie. dye when you think of the hippie scene of the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood in the '60s, think again. The forefathers of the hippie movement were definitely into long hair, but tie-dye wasn't a thing yet. They were more into vaguely South Asian designs. — Source: 18 Historical Moments That Get Pictured Wrong

8

A MAN TRIED TO BLOW UP GEORGE W. BUSH. Do you think a shoe was the worst thing anyone threw at President Bush? In 2005, Georgian national Vladimir Arutyunian tossed a hand grenade at him. It didn't explode, as you can probably guess. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

7

CRACKED.co .COM THE PONY EXPRESS WAS VERY SHORT-LIVED. Despite the huge role it plays EXPRESS in the lore of the Old West, the PONY Pony Express operated for only a year and a half, from DOLLAR. March 1860 to October 1861. WELLS.FARCOBCCO & — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

6

The Victorians saw Christmas as a time to have a laugh. Their Christmas card art included stuff like a child stuck in a teapot, mice riding lobsters, or a clown with a poker attacking a policeman's butt. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

5

Viking$ did not wear horned helmets. Carl Emil Doepler is the main culprit behind this notion. He included horned helmets as part of his costume design for the performance of Der Ring des Nibelungen. It then just kinda stuck. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

4

CRACKED.co WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE LEWIS AND CLARK CRAPPED. The Lewis and Clark expedition carried mercury pills that were used to treat pretty much everything (including, ahem, syphilis). The location of the latrines in their Lolo, Montana campsite is known because of the mercury in the soil. — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

3

THE ROMAN EMPIRE DIDN'T JUST FALL OVERNIGHT. Yes, Rome was taken by Germanic invaders in 479- -which had happened other times, SO not much changed that day. The Eastern Roman Empire- which was more important by then- lasted another 1,000 years. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

2

Gladiator fights weren't a gory free-for-all, but had strict rules and referees. One gladiator's tombstone inscription complains that a bad referee call killed him. CRACKED — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

1

22 Historical Things We Imagined Completely Wrong — Source: 25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

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