We're Not Getting A Female James Bond Any Time Soon, 007 Producer Says

Bond's producers like their vodka martini's shaken, not stirred, and most definitely not drank by a woman.

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 30

'That 70's Show' Car And 3 Other Classic TV Props Owned By Stars

Plus, which 'Full House' star sports the Tanner family couch in his home.

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 2

The Time Joker Refused To Work With Red Skull

Even homicidal clowns draw the line somewhere, apparently.

Authors: By Maxwell Yezpitelok
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 9

At A Glance: 12 Fascinating Neil Gaiman Facts

Think you know everything about the rockstar writer?

Authors: By Shea
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 14

Sneaky Ways Companies Fuel Subscription Addictions (VIDEO)

Return to sender.

Authors: By Greg Ott
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 0

25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

By:: Andres Diplotti; Cracked Plasticians

September 10, 2019

25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

We've all got brain-pictures about what the past was like, inserted by school, history books, and pop culture through the years. In our ongoing effort to be as insufferable as possible, we've compiled some facts that will fly straight in the face of the stuff you think you know about history.

25 Entry by Alex Race

THE PYRAMIDS WEREN'T BUILT BY SLAVES. Despite what you've seen in movies, the Egyptian pyramids were the work of paid laborers working on ree-month sh

24 Entry by DoctorNemesis

25 Facts That Get In Accepted History's Face

Continue Reading Below

23 Entry by Triborough

NAPOLEON WASN'T SHORT. At 5 feet 6.5 inches, he'd be barely an inch shorter than the average Frenchman today.

22 Entry by Alex Race

TYRANNOSAURUS REX IS CLOSER TO YOU IN TIME THAN TO STEGOSAURUS. T. rex went extinct 65 million years ago. By then, Stegosaurus had been dead for 85 mi

21 Entry by Nirgal

THE UNITED STATES BANNED INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE FOR LONGER THAN SOUTH AFRICA. Famously racist South Africa banned people of different races from getting

20 Entry by CF3000

A MAN TRIED TO BLOW UP GEORGE W. BUSH. Do you think a shoe was the worst thing anyone threw at President Bush? In 2005, Georgian national Vladimir Aru

19 Entry by DoctorNemesis

WE DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING IN NIXON'S TAPES. Nixon's White House tapes contain over 3,500 hours of recordings. About 200 make reference to Watergate. By

18 Entry by frippo

THE ROMAN EMPIRE DIDN'T JUST FALL OVERNIGHT. Yes, Rome was taken by Germanic invaders in 479. -which had happened other times, SO not much changed tha

17 Entry by Alex Race

CRACKED WARNER BROS. WAS FOUNDED AS THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE WAS ENDING. The empire existed from the 14th century until the Republic of Turkey was establish

16 Entry by jtrip

CRACKEDCO WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE LEWIS AND CLARK CRAPPED. The Lewis and Clark expedition carried mercury pills that were used to treat pretty much ever

15 Entry by ChevySpoons

CRACKEDcO COM THE PONy EXPRESS WAS VERY SHORT-LIVED. Despite the huge role it plays EXPRESS in the lore of the Old West, the PONY Pony Express operate

14 Entry by dardafdti

CRACKEDcO COM THE GOVERNMENT IS STILL PAYING CIVIL WAR PENSIONS. A veteran's daughter, born in 1930 when her father was in his 8Os, still gets her pay

13 Entry by DoctorNemesis

DURING WORLD WAR Il, THE USSR TOOK THE BRUNT OF THE FIGHTING AND OF THE DYING. You see very heroic Americans fighting the Reich in movies. And while t

12 Entry by Marcos0822

CRACKED CON THE CURRENT U.S. FLAG WAS DESIGNED BY A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. 17-year-old Robert G. Heft made a 50-star flag for a school assignment when A

11 Entry by Alex Race

THE WITCHES OF SALEM WEREN'T BURNED. While burning alleged witches was common in Europe, those found guilty of witchcraft during the Salem trials we

10 Entry by Alex Race

THE STRONGEST OPPOSITION TO THE VIETNAM WAR CAME FROM OLDER AMERICANS. CET THE HELL Yes, visible protestors tended to OUT OFTES be young. But accordin

9 Entry by Gentleman-Mummy

CRACKED cO COM BRITISH TANKS HAVE LONG INCLUDED TEA MAKING FACILITIES. 590 Before 1945, Brits had to stop and climb out of their tanks for their tea b

8 Entry by creating_magic

THE ROMAN EMPIRE WAS BIG. JUST NOT THAT BIG. Rome, the biggest empire that ever was... Except that, by surface area, it was more like the 25th, with a

7 Entry by Alex Race

John Tyler's son Lyon was born when his father was 63. Lyon had two sons, Lyon Jr. and Harrison, when he was in his 70s. Both are still around. A 19TH

6 Entry by Nirgal

CRACKED CON 97% OF HUMAN HISTORY HAS BEEN LOST. Humans appeared 200,000 years ago. Writing is about 000 years old. This means that only 3%0 of our spe

5 Entry by Zapp Rowsdower

AN AMERICAN PATROTIC SONG TOPPED THE CHARTS AT THE HEIGHT OF THE BRITISH INVASION. Do you think the '60s were all about The Beatles? Nope! The Ballad

4 Entry by Ravellion

THE NORMANDY LANDINGS WERE AMERICA'S FINEST DAY EVEN IF AMERICANS WERE IN THE MINORITY. There were over 83,000 men in the British Second Army that sto

3 Entry by Nirgal

SEVEN OF HISTORY'S TEN DEADLIEST WARS WERE FOUGHT IN CHINA. It comes with havinga a historically high population. A couple of wars in the region had a

2 Entry by bizmarky

THE U.S. CONSTITUTION IS RIDDLED WITH MISTAKES. People vnde vnen e eing 1 2riic! We're not talking here about stuff such as not giving everyone the ri

1 Entry by Alex Race

BARELY ANYONE SMOKED POT IN THE 1960s. Ah, the '60s. Flower power, peace and love, everyone was high... Except that by 1969, only 4o/ of Americans had

Recommended For Your Pleasure

16 Ancient Gods That Are Metal As All Hell

Baron Samedi didn't have to go so hard

Authors: By Jay L'Ecuyer
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 17

'Arcane': Our Predictions For The Second Season

'Arcane's over for now, but we're trying to figure out what's going to happen next season.

Authors: By Stephen Buckley
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 1

14 Musicians Who Made Surprisingly Great Saturday Night Live Hosts

Who knew Bruno Mars was funny?

Authors: By Matt Solomon
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 5

Sisters Made Motorcycle History (Then Got Arrested For Wearing Pants)

In 1916, two sisters rode across the country on motorcycles to make history.

Authors: By Ethan Tyrrell
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 4

Is 'Home Alone' Secretly All About Religion?

The Gospel according to Kevin McCallister.

Authors: By JM McNab
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 12

13 Collectables Expensive Only Because Someone Screwed Up

Money-making mistakes

Authors: By Jon Ruggiero, Lily Landau
Published: December 08, 2021
Comments: 26