The Man Who Was Killed By His Own Beard

A 16th-century Dutch mayor named Hans Staininger had the most magnificent face full of whiskers the world had ever seen — a hirsute magnificence that ultimately proved to be his undoing

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Tell Us Now: Which Superhero Movie Tropes Drive You Nuts?

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Tell Us Now: Which Superhero Movie Tropes Drive You Nuts?

We asked Cracked readers on Facebook about their superhero film pet peeves, and they took the opportunity to stan Oswald Cobblepot, hard:

TELL US NOW. Just give it to us straight! CRACKED Brian B. is sick of buildup to the twist or hidden truth' you know was coming. It's why Ragnarok is one of my favorites. Cleared the table right out the gate: 'It's the apocalypse and it's being led by your

TELL US NOW. Villains need some consistency, while we're at it! CRACKED Douglass P. doesn't get how Thanos might punch the Hulk into the next time zone, in one scene. Then in the next, he'll punch Starlord, and Starlord won't immediately vaporize into a cloud of red mist.

TELL US NOW. Put some respect on Oswald Cobblepot's name. CRACKED Mike D. hates when well-known supervillains go out like punks. The Joker and Penguin deserved more respect than falling off a building and bleeding out from bird-launched missile shrapnel.

TELL US NOW. Being super is 90% mental. th CRACKED Bramwell S. says The strength ratio is always So inconsistent -. -Peter stopped a train but couldn't punch out Doc Ock?

TELL US NOW. Can borrow a power? CRACKED James W. questions how superheroes not only bend the laws of physics for themselves, but anyone they save. Sure, the Man of Steel might be able to take the 10 G shock of landing at terminal velocity, but Ms Lane in

TELL US NOW. Thanks, it has pockets! CRACKED Tony F. asks, when Clark Kent does a quick change in a phone booth, where does he stash his clothes? Greg B. has the Cunconvincing) answer: I remember a comic that explained this by having a pouch in his cape.

TELL US NOW. Enough with the origin stories! CRACKED Brian W. says they're almost never very interesting, and often take up way too much screen time. Zachary Z. agrees: We have to see Batman's origin story EVERY time he is recast.' Furthermore, says Michael P, in the case of B-v-S,

TELL US NOW. There's no in Avengers. CRAGKED Shaylin C. says it's absurd that heroes don't just call up the other members of their superhero team. Winter Soldier would've gone a lot different if Cap had just picked up a phone and gone, 'hey Tony, Bruce, I've got a

TELL US NOW. Where are all the horny supers?? GRAGKED Ken S. finds it absurd to the point of obnoxious that, for all their obligatory 'love interests,' these always-beautiful, chaste ubers apparently have no libidos. Like, they simply must save their beloved, but they're never horny for them. That's f*ckin'

TELL US NOW. Why is every superhero a serial monogamist? CRACKED Heather S. says Not every superhero film needs a love interest. Especially if they don't serve any purpose beyond being a love interest.

TELL US NOW. Is the juice worth the squeeze? CRACKED Nigel R. says Great, you stopped the alien invasion. But who is going to repair the bridge that's destroyed? What about all those abandoned cars? Does insurance cover superhero destruction, or does the city just eat the cost?

TELL US NOW. Green? Super green. CRACKED Mark S. says 'superheroes could make SO much green energy. Superman could turn a large crank for 8 hours and eliminate 10 coal power plants. That's a real hero.

TELL US NOW. Save a kitten in a tree once in a while. GRACKED Vince T. says every movie doesn't need to have EXTREMELY high, 'the fate of the world is at hand' stakes. Well-written, low-stakes adventures with rad characters are indeed possible.

TELL US NOW. Can't write compelling dialogue? Introducing: YELLING! CRACKED Sean A. is sick of EVERYONE SHOUTING ALL THE TIME!

TELL US NOW. Go easy on the CGI. GRACKED Sarah H. can't stand when the fight scenes are SO fast and the cgi is too unclear to actually make out any action. It's especially sh*tty when it's the big final scene.

TELL US NOW. Honey? Cancel my LASIK appointment! CRACKED Eric T. always rolls his eyes when a character casually realizes they no longer need their eyeglasses when they're first gaining their powers. Let me tell you, as someone who can barely see without my glasses, suddenly not needing them would

TELL US NOW. Won't somebody please think of the physics?! CRACKED Matthew P. says they too often ignore physics when illustrating a superpower: It can be throwing a car with what looks to be the same arm speed and strength to throw a tennis ball, or running quickly from a

TELL US NOW. Keep the dang mask on! CRACKED David S. can't stand it when actors get face time at the expense of the heroes' safety: Like, yeah, we really need to get those Infinity Stones, and we're the only ones that can do it, but let's discuss our plan

TELL US NOW. Long hair, should care CRACKED Jenevieve B. says Anytime anyone with long hair doesn't tie it up when the action starts. It covers your eyes, gets in your mouth and nose, and can get caught in things. Every longhaired superhero should incorporate a scrunchie into their uniform

TELL US NOW. Stick to ONE volume for the whole movie! CRACKED Katt B. hates playing the volume game. I don't want to have to interact this much with a movie.

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