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31 Very Stupid Things Celebrities Said With A Straight Face

By:: Cracked Writers; Jay L'Ecuyer

October 08, 2023

31 Very Stupid Things Celebrities Said With A Straight Face

Sure, celebrities sound like absolute morons sometimes, but it’s not their fault! If you had a hoard of die-hard fans hanging on your every word, wouldn’t you start thinking that everything you had to say was utter genius? Constant approval is weird like that. Not that we’d know; our every word is scrutinized by editors and commenters. But we can dream, can’t we?

Whatever the case may be, these celebs thought they were dropping some serious knowledge, but no one was there to pick it up…

31

T.I. GRACKED.COM Not to be sexist, but I can't vote for the leader of the free world to be a woman. Every other position that exists, I think a woman could do well. But, the president? I just know that women make rash decisions emotionally. — Source

30

THE DALAI LAMA CRACKED.COM If a female Dalai Lama come, then she must be very attractive. Otherwise not much use. — Source

29

SEAN CONNERY CRACKED.COM I don't think there is anything particularly wrong about hitting a woman - although I don't recommend doing it in the same way that you'd hit a man. An openhanded slap is justified - if all other alternatives fail and there has been plenty of warning. — Source

28

Tom Cruise on antidepressants: 2005 THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE CRACKED.COM The guy who believes that our bodies are riddled with ancient alien ghosts would have us believe that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in a body. — Source

27

Chris Matthews compared Bernie Sanders to the Third Reich. RDE At the start of 2020, following Democratic Sen. Sanders' Nevada caucus victory, the MSNBC newsman compared the win to the Nazi takeover of France during WWII. A horrid thing to say about a Jewish person who lost relatives during the Holocaust. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Jeff Lewis wanted to what now? Siriusim SiriusXm SiriusX The SiriusXM radio show host along with his guests joked about the coronavirus in January 2020, suggesting that they avoid the virus by isolating Asian-American radio employees, refuse calls from Asian listeners, boycott Asian eateries, and avoid trips to areas with Asian communities. Не apologized afterwards; but yeesh! Major yikes. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

Bette Midler wants to applaud all housekeepers for knowing how kitchen appliances work. At the start of the pandemic, Midler tweeted: I never knew my appliances as well as I'm starting to know them. So grateful to #Kenmore and #Maytag. This is no joke. I salute housekeepers around the globe, doing your best to keep your families well, safe and alive. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

Kylie Jenner compared her secret pregnancy to pandemic isolation. In March 2020, Jenner posted on Instagram: Another daily reminder to take this social distancing seriously and self quarantine. I'm on day 8. My pregnancy prepared me for this. :( I didn't leave the house for months. Yeah, voluntarily hiding from the public while still seeing friends and family and filming your show and having people run your errands for you is totally the same thing. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Justin Bieber just can't feel bad. The singer was chatting to Kendall Jenner on Instagram Live when he said: How blessed are we to be able to like... a lot of people are obviously in this time having a crappy situation and they look at us. Obviously you know we've worked hard for where we're at so it's like we can't feel bad, you know, (for) the things we have. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

William Barr compared the pandemic lockdown to slavery. In September 2020, the former Attorney Generel gave a speech at Hillsdale College where he said: You know, putting a national lockdown, stay at home orders, is like house arrest. Other than slavery, which was a different kind of restraint, this is the greatest intrusion on civil liberties in American history. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Terry Crews on Black supremacy. FORCE OF NATURE In 2020, Crews tweeted an unfortunate and wholly unnecessary sentence: Defeating White supremacy without White people creates Black supremacy. Equality is the truth. Like it or not, we are all in this together. Oof. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

Ellen DeGeneres compared self-quarantine to jail. While broadcasting to her viewers from home, she said: One thing that I've learned from being in quarantine is that people - this is like being in jail, is what it is. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

MOBY moby XVX @thelittleidiot - Mar 23 A reminder: in a vegan world there would be no pandemics. 100% of pandemics are zoonotic in origin. #veganforlife Someone tell him how cholera works. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

CRACKED.COM CI P. MEDIT PARIS HILT Hol Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me. Paris Hilton, presumably talking about her previous lives Hollywood — Source

17

IUAL If the fat people just gave the skinny people more food... we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. Ashton Kutcher, solving the world's problems while trying to mathematically figure out how you can have 2.5 men CRACKED.COM — Source

16

CRACKED COM I'm not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that's bad. Justin Bieber, voicing a better political opinion than most cable pundits — Source

15

CRACKED.COM I love the smell of diapers. I even like when they're wet and you smell them all warm, like a baked good. Sarah Jessica Parker, truly finding yum in someone else's yuck (somehow) — Source

14

I think the more positive approach you have to smoking, the less harmful it is. Sienna Miller, apparently believing that emphysema is a state of mind CRACKED.COM — Source

13

CRACKED.COM Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost an important part of your life. Brooke Shields, exhaling harsh truths after clearly inhaling something else — Source

12

Kourtney Kardashian honestly asks a great question: CRACKED.COM Kourtney Kardashian Do ants have dicks? — Source

11

Dan Quayle has stepped in it a whole bunch of times, so let's just go with the most comprehensive: CRACKED.COM I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. — Source

10

David Beckham's problem is already solved! CRACKED.COM I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion. — Source

9

Kim Kardashian goes fishing for compliments, catches backlash: = 20 26 24 25 19 23 21 22 Pit 95 3E 3) 38 99 в CRACKED.COM You guys, I'm not that skinny! I'm down to 119 pounds. I will say when I take out my hair extensions I am less. — Source

8

Arnold was very tolerant... with one key caveat: CRACKED.COM I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. — Source

7

TIDES I 'll tell you why isn't a scam, in my opinion, all right? Tide goes in, tide goes out, never a miscommunication. - 2F - - You can't explain - that. N/Y THE - Bill O'Reilly .... - - CRACKED.COM — Source

6

I've been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No. -Craig T. Nelson during a 2009 Glenn Beck interview CRACKED.COM — Source

5

CRACKED COM Hilton There's much more to life than all of these possessions and everything. And if you want those things, you're going to have to work yourself, just like I did. -Paris Hilton — Source

4

I was faithful at heart... but not faithful all the way. Usher, admitting during an Oprah interview that he had cheated on his wife CRACKED.COM — Source

3

The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex. -Carl Everett ? CRACKED.COM — Source

2

If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump? Kelly Osbourne CRACKED.COM — Source

1

CRACKED.COM IT'S REALLY HARD TO MAINTAIN A ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP IF THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT GOING TO ALLOW ME TO BE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. - Axl Rose 1989 interview with Rolling Stone — Source

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