15 Celebrity (Timelessly Idiotic) Quotes

By:
15 Celebrity (Timelessly Idiotic) Quotes

Whether they're actors, politicians, pop stars, or some unholy combination thereof, celebrities pay a dear price for fame: all of their dumbest musings are recorded for future generations to point and laugh at for all time.

Sylvester Stallone has big plans for his next life: The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.

Craig T. Nelson lifted himself up by his bootstraps: CRACKEDCO I've been on foodstamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No.

Arnold was very tolerant... with one key caveat: I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.

Kanyeto, ergo SUME CRACKED COM I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all.

The One Cracked Fact Newsletter

Get daily exclusive stories about our weird world, plus deep cuts and the latest from Cracked.

Cameron Diaz fancies herself a bit of a prodigy: CRACKED COM I've been noticing gravity since was very young.

Kim Kardashian goes fishing for compliments, catches backlash: 8 CRACKED COM You guys, I'm not that skinny! I'm down to 119 pounds. I will say when take out my hair extensions I am less.

Mitt Romney defines the new American dream: I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love.

David Beckham's problem is already solved! I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion.

Christina Aguilera cannes't take this one back: ORACKEDCOM So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

Shaq can't recall if he partied at the Parthenon. CRACKED CON When someone asked if he visited the Parthenon while he was in Greece: I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

Jessica Simpson isn't quite sure what tuna is: CRACKED COM Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it sayS 'Chicken of the Sea'?

Eminem doesn't know about internet porn. XXX When an interviewer notified Em of the endless bounty of internet porn: Really?! I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day when this shkt is over. You can look up anything?

Dan Quayle has stepped in it a whole bunch of times, SO let's just go with the most comprehensive: CRACKED COM 'I stand by all the misstatements that I'vE made.

Madonna made herself hacker bait: CRACKED COM She leaked fake tracks from her album American Life that were actually just her saying what the fk do you think you're doing? It was intended to teach piraters a lesson, but it caught the attention of hackers... who leaked the actual tracks in

Kourtney Kardashian honestly asks a great question: CRACKED COM Kourtney Kardashian Do ants have dicks?

Related: 5 Famous Quotes With Inspiring Origins (That Are Total BS)

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Forgot Password?