Welcome to our more perfect society.
Real-life vigilantes are usually less like The Punisher and more like those two drunken Australians who foiled the robbery of a fast food joint by clumsily flailing after the bad guys with their fists.
Sure, your job would never physically put you in harm's way, but that doesn't mean it isn't abusing you in other ways.
If you find yourself being arrested for armed robbery, you can always blame it on someone else who was wearing a mask of your face.
Bears are absolutely adorable when they're stuffed or named Paddington. In the real world, not so much.
Don't act like you never wanted to know what it's like to fly giant hunks of metal powered by spinning knives.
Some of the most charitable gestures went straight to the crapper after folks overlooked some pretty glaring problems right from the jump.
Nothing sticks it to the man better than wearing expensive clothes before ceremoniously setting them on fire.
We talked to a meteorologist, David, to learn how he predicts the weather. There's a 75 percent chance that everything he told us is accurate.
No one wants to spend that much time in a car with the same person. There's just no way.
Note: I'm about to spoil absolutely everything that happens in this movie.
Maybe be a little wary the next time you go to swat a fly.
At some point, ad companies realized that they could get away with literally whatever they want.
One little typo in your code, and suddenly your pigs are giant green penis monsters.
If you really hated your adolescence, you might be interested to learn that there's a developmental disorder that prevents people from going through puberty at all.