Bingo: A super boring game that only old people play because their hips are too fragile for flag football. Agree? You shouldn't.
Contemporary fashion advertising is all about beautiful lifeless women, usually lying in puddles of artfully applied grime and contorted into broken, corpse-like sprawls.
When it comes to Latin America, the U.S. behaves like a drunken bully.
Nothing is less reassuring than constantly being reassured.
If you ever find yourself having to live alone for long stretches of time, you too will find yourself doing some truly weird stuff.
We can say with some certainty that the federal government is not, in fact, a front for the lizard people.
It's a statistical fact that going to see a doctor is worse than a biting a sandwich and finding a really long hair enrobed in warm mayonnaise dangling from your lips afterward ... No one likes the doctor.
Why would so many corporations give their seemingly mundane mascots backstories so dark they might have wandered out of a David Lynch film?
It feels like the world is on fire sometimes, doesn't it? We're about to make everything so, so much worse.
I don't know how long the weirdness has been there, but I wish I would've scrolled down the page just a little bit more to reach the Promised Land sooner.
You want to wear that 'This Is My Costume' T-shirt again this Halloween, you go right on ahead.
This is your daily reminder that we are all but sacks of meat that can and will crumble and rot as surely as last night's Chipotle.
They say the past is a foreign country, but what they've neglected to tell you is that it's a country full of horrors that want you dead.