Guess what? Half of the Millennial trends your grandpa complains about are actually even older than he is.
How could they possibly do any wrong? Oh boy, you know where this is going ...
Spies are not always creative people.
Some of the most seemingly innocent facts we never even think to question were in fact originally churned out by the propaganda machine.
People have been getting loaded ever since Julius Wine ate all those bad grapes, and we're mostly OK with it. But prescription opioid painkillers, our latest drug epidemic, is a different beast entirely.
Disasters ruin people's lives. It's pretty much the only thing they do.
Sometimes a product fails because everybody in charge of the launch was criminally inept, fist-eatingly crazy, chemically stupid, or all of the above.
Effort takes effort, and who the heck needs that?
Every positive action feels like trying to stop a forest fire with a water balloon.
Soon Disney will rule all media with a white-gloved iron fist.
You'd think that at this point in history, we'd be semi-competent at good old-fashioned diplomacy.
Can you imagine anything sadder than a clinically depressed eight-year-old?
Here are some of the bonkers ideas that misguided geniuses have come up with to save us all (even if they had to kill every last one of us to do it).