As much as we like to joke about the sorry state of the world, the facts really don't back us up.
Reservoir Dogs Disney-fied!
Mittens have all the functionality of five fingered gloves, save for the functionality part.
The Internet, and the world at large, has become completely fascinated with cats. In true Cracked fashion, we bring you the ones that are actually worth more than the shit in their litter boxes.
American history is dominated by groups who look exactly like what you think they do, but only because they totally ripped off their styles from fictional movies.
There's a science to picking mascots. If you're a sugary breakfast cereal, you must choose a cartoon of something that kills children, like vampires or tigers. If you're car insurance, try to think of an animal name or noise that sounds like your stupid name ... OK, so maybe they're all just guessing.
Comic books have been known to do some crazy things to keep readers interested. Sometimes what they do works, and sometimes it just makes us feel like putting the comic book facedown, leaving the room and taking a shower.
If, like most of us, you find yourself secretly hating rich people now and then, it's probably because of the stupid and frivolous junk they buy. A whole segment of our economy is dedicated to making ridiculous crap for these shallow jerks. But a whole lot of lives have been saved by that ridiculous stuff.