Cracked Archive - Sports

Running the Tough Mudder: A 12-Mile Long Torture Chamber

At the end of it all, a man with a Marine Corps tattoo, and who I privately suspect was just a pile of biceps crammed in a windbreaker, gave us each a headband and a beer while explaining that we were part of something bigger than ourselves now. But we knew better.


The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports

It turns out that every sport has an 'anything goes' period in its history when insanity was just par for the course.


23 Lifetime Statistics That Should Be Kept for Everyone

When you want to find out how your favorite pro sports team is going to do in a game, you can pull up countless stats on their athletes and the ones they'll be facing. But when you want to figure out which co-worker to watch it with over beers, you're at a loss.


7 Bizarre Things That Science Says Make You a Better Athlete

When people think about how scientists can help them be better at sports, they're probably thinking about what cocktail of steroids they can take that won't show up on a urine test. The truth is actually way more legal.


6 Recklessly Extreme Versions of Already Extreme Sports

To what deranged depths will man sink due to his need to be the best at something, even if it's completely pointless and insane, before he says, 'OK, that's enough'?


The 10 Most Confusing Things About Football to an Outsider

Here's some common questions asked by people new to football (well, mostly me) answered by someone who doesn't know anything about football (also me).


5 Moments in Fake Professional Wrestling That Got Too Real

It turns out that when the performing wrestlers are both huge and insane, one accident can escalate play fighting into the real thing pretty quickly.


5 Insane True Tales of Wrestlers Refusing to Break Character

For most of the last century, wrestling fans believed every storyline and bit of pageantry as the God's honest truth, and if you made your living as a wrestler, it was your sworn duty to protect the illusion at all costs.


4 Hiking Guides That Are Honest About Why People Go Hiking

If the explorers who pen these guides, and whose careers I've surely saved, wanted to name a snow-capped mountain after me, I certainly couldn't stop them.


5 Things They Don't Want You to Know About the Olympics

The Olympics are all about the love of sport, country and your fellow man. Maybe. Just don't look too closely behind the scenes.


The 7 Easiest Olympic Events to Win a Medal In

Like many of you, I spent most of the past weekend elbow deep in a bag of Cheetos while watching the Olympics.


5 Insane Real Sports They Need to Add to the Olympics

There are plenty of sports out there that could be added to the game to spice them up. And we're talking about real sports here, not the game of flamethrower tag we tried to get them to add last time.


5 Creepy Things London Did to Prepare for the Olympics

It's all in the name of anti-terrorism and public safety, of course, but the London 2012 Olympics will be the most sinister sporting event ever held outside of 'Battle Royale.'


4 Adult Tricycles for People Who Never Got Over Big Wheels

Ever since Big Wheels, the tricycle has faded away, back to its spot as the second least cool way to get around (behind perennial favorite, rollerblades.) But does it have to be that way? These four inventors don’t think so ...


5 Dumb Hobbies You Won't Believe Have World Championships

Little did we realize that these pointless time wasters were, for some, the subject of a years-long pursuit of excellence.