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Cracked Archive - Sports

4 Ways the Tour de France Is Awesome if You Ignore the Bikes

You know it better as the race Lance Armstrong turned his body into a mobile chemistry lab to win a bunch of times.

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The 10 Worst Punishments For Losing in a Fantasy League

I heard of leagues where the loser has to wear nothing but a Speedo, dress up as a woman, dress up as a clown, get waxed, get shaved, and swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon while getting slapped in the face by a fish. You heard me. Slapped in the face by a fish.

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The 5 Most Pathetic Abuses of Power in Sports History

Because professional sports have never shied from choosing money over dignity, it's entirely possible to grease your awkward slide into professional athletics with hundred dollar bills.

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4 Sport Scenes in Movies (by People Who Don't Watch Sports)

These films demonstrate such a fundamental misunderstanding of sports that even watching them will make you embarrassed on behalf of everyone involved.

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The 10 Greatest Wrestler Glamour Shots of All Time

Many pro wrestlers nowadays craft their ring personalities using some mixture of barbarian aggression and homicidal machismo. But back in the 1980s, things were vastly different.

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The 5 Ballsiest Ways Fans Have Affected The Outcome of Games

These fans, after paying good money to watch the sporting event, couldn't just sit down and enjoy the athletic showcase they came to see. They had to make it all about them.

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The 5 Most Horrifying Sports Injuries of All Time

Clearly, these guys are really, truly insane.

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Running the Tough Mudder: A 12-Mile Long Torture Chamber

At the end of it all, a man with a Marine Corps tattoo, and who I privately suspect was just a pile of biceps crammed in a windbreaker, gave us each a headband and a beer while explaining that we were part of something bigger than ourselves now. But we knew better.

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The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports

It turns out that every sport has an 'anything goes' period in its history when insanity was just par for the course.

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7 Bizarre Things That Science Says Make You a Better Athlete

When people think about how scientists can help them be better at sports, they're probably thinking about what cocktail of steroids they can take that won't show up on a urine test. The truth is actually way more legal.

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6 Recklessly Extreme Versions of Already Extreme Sports

To what deranged depths will man sink due to his need to be the best at something, even if it's completely pointless and insane, before he says, 'OK, that's enough'?

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The 10 Most Confusing Things About Football to an Outsider

Here's some common questions asked by people new to football (well, mostly me) answered by someone who doesn't know anything about football (also me).

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5 Moments in Fake Professional Wrestling That Got Too Real

It turns out that when the performing wrestlers are both huge and insane, one accident can escalate play fighting into the real thing pretty quickly.

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5 Insane True Tales of Wrestlers Refusing to Break Character

For most of the last century, wrestling fans believed every storyline and bit of pageantry as the God's honest truth, and if you made your living as a wrestler, it was your sworn duty to protect the illusion at all costs.

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4 Hiking Guides That Are Honest About Why People Go Hiking

If the explorers who pen these guides, and whose careers I've surely saved, wanted to name a snow-capped mountain after me, I certainly couldn't stop them.

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