Cracked Archive - Sports

NFL Draft Has The Smell Of Doom To It

Somebody's gonna bungle this draft and we're ready for it.


A Desperate NBA Turns To H-O-R-S-E, The Lowest Form Of Basketball

There's going to be a lot of half-court heaves to earn an 'H'


Bring Your Golf Game Right to Your Backyard With These Deals

Self-isolation doesn't have to slow your cabbage roll.


Announcers Doing Play-By-Play Of Their Pets Is What All Sports Should Be Now

If you’ve ever wondered if sports commentators are just doing that in their heads constantly, the answer is yes, it’s amazing, and it frequently involves dogs.


LaMelo Ball Is Trying To Buy A Pro Basketball Team Before Even Getting Into The NBA

Buying a basketball team at age 18 is the first big baller thing that Big Baller Brand has actually done.


The White Sox Will Be Announcing Simulated Games And It Could Be Hilarious

Starting today the Chicago White Sox will be simulating a game every week on Playstation's MLB The Show and we hope other teams follow suit.


College Athletes Can Now Raise Money For Charity, And That's Big

The NCAA had to create a waiver for student-athletes to raise money for charity. Sheesh.


The Olympic Torch Got To Japan, Now What?

Made it there 0.01 seconds too late.


WWE Minus Audiences Equals Shakespearean Theatre

Dost thou knoweth what thine Rock be cooketh?


We Regret To Inform You That Trump Supporters Have Their Very Own 'Hamilton'

And it's probably the worst mix of politics and theatre since Lincoln decided to catch a play.


An Old Zamboni Driver Won His Pro Hockey Debut

Hockey is a sport built mostly for fights and inspiring stories.


Man Suing The NFL Because The Halftime Show Damned His Eternal Soul

If you were Shakira and Jennifer Lopez, wouldn’t you consider this a glowing review?


Finally, The NFL Draft Will Give Players The Option To Drown

Why simply walk, when you can trudge through dirty Vegas hotel fountain water?


How MMA Proved That The Bigger Guy Usually Loses Horribly

Being bigger than your opponent is one of the worst things you can be in a fight.


The Antonio Brown Saga, For People Who Don't Watch Football

The NFL is the world's weirdest soap opera.