Cracked Archive - News

6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook

Stop making the world a worse place.


I Buy Human Teeth: 4 Realities Of A Weird Black Market

Where do your teeth go after they've been pulled out of your screaming skull by a sadist with a light on his forehead?


6 Brothels that Turn Sex Into A Day At An Amusement Park

Even though the basic product is still the same (roof, prostitutes, wet-naps, shame), there's apparently still room for some forward-thinking innovation.


5 Reasons Even Gun Owners Should Hate The NRA

Listen, United States: You really need to stop the board of the NRA.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/21)

The world makes about as much sense as the plot of your average late-night Cinemax porno, one watched with the sound off so your Mom doesn't hear.


5 Drugs That Turn Your World Into A Real-Life Horror Movie

I wouldn't blame you if you have a hard time looking at Pixy Stix again after seeing the effects of these drugs.


The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/14)

Watching the news is a lot like watching the new season of 'True Detective,' only with even more angst and ridiculous mustaches.


15 Media Panics That Totally Missed The Point

The news media is a scary powerful entity. And its got great looking teeth, too.


The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/7)

Judging by the news, the world is kind of like Jurassic Park, only if the dinosaurs were in charge of security.


5 Fireworks Disasters That Were Incredibly Fun To Watch

Fireworks are stupid, but there are certain occasions when watching them cane be incredibly fun. That, of course, is when they malfunction.


We Built Their Death Squads: ISIS's Bizarre Origin Story

We learned that, if we're not the father of ISIS, the United States is at least some sort of uncle.


7 Fake Viral Photos You Probably Thought Were Real

Our social media feeds are constantly bombarded with incredible images ... that are also 100 percent cow-pie.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/30)

No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity. So we're here to help.


4 Real-Life George Costanzas

Constanzas exist, and we've found these despicable liars who fooled the entire world into bigger ruses than Vandelay Industries.


How Casual Racism Ruined 'Free Speech' Forever

I can't remember the last time anyone brought up free speech because they actually wanted to talk about free speech.