Cracked Archive - News
6 Times The News Went Totally Overboard Chasing A Story
It might sound impossible to anyone living in the year 2017, but once upon a time, there was a thing called a 'slow news day.'
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- By Alex Hanton
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54
54 Tourists Fined For Borat Costumes Don't Realize It's 2017
Sasha Baron Cohen paid the fines for these mankini-wearing miscreants.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 31
You Can Buy Christmas MAGA Hats To Alienate Your Family
Do you want to alienate your friends and family, while taking a bold pro-Christmas stance that literally nobody opposes?
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 40
The Plaza Hotel Offers A Home Alone 2 Experience... Finally?
Good news, everyone! The Plaza Hotel in New York has heard your vehement, rabid, horny calls for a 'Home Alone 2'-inspired getaway.
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- By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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- 21
The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/21/17)
We’ve got your dinner conversation covered.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- 245
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Bus Interrupts Cameraman's Once In A Lifetime Shot
Let us have a moment of silence for the poor Weather Channel cameraman whose soul was crushed by this bus.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 23
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/26/2017)
Jim Bakker would like you to buy his $60 bucket of pancake mix, which he claims can help protect you from damnation.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 76
Who Chose Lena Dunham To Represent Millennial Women?
Every time Lena Dunham makes a mistake, the world collectively turns to all Millennial women and says, 'Well, what do you have to say for her?'
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- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- 259
Somehow 'Plantation Weddings' Are Still A Thing
There is apparently some confusion about the difference between remembering the past and celebrating it.
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- By Anonymous, Andrea Meno
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- 503
What Happened This Week (In 2017)
With so many news sources shouting for your attention, it's hard to figure out what's truly important.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- 342
Who Is The Culprit Behind The Sephora Eyeshadow Caper?
Apparently, there was a trail of little glittery footprints in the wake of the eyeshadow attack.
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- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- 38
Set Your Ovens To 420: There's A Cheetos Turkey Recipe
The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 12
Designer Pasta Means Rich People Have Run Out Of Ideas
I don't understand how you can make dried pasta gourmet.
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- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- 14
The ACLU Should Use Truck Nuts As A Free Speech Precedent
I'm not some kind of fancy city lawyer, but if you can apply this law to a bumper sticker, what of truck nuts?
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 80
Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now
Powerful men are accustomed to a certain amount of formulaic lenience.
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- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- 86
