Cracked Archive - News

5 Reasons Holidays Are Secretly Crucial To Our Survival

If you want to piss off an anxious person, just tell them to stay positive. Seriously, try it!


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/22/16)

Let's face it: These days, the news is less about information and more about turning people into outrage junkies.


8 Huge Stories Nobody Paid Attention To In 2016

Or 'everything else big that happened that wasn't a presidential election.'


No, Spies Aren't Using That Windowless Tower In New York

Many of you have probably never even noticed the giant nuclear-warhead-proof concrete obelisk that looms over downtown Manhattan -- it's easy to miss.


The End Of Trump's Reign Could Be Way Sooner Than You Think

Remember this date: November 6, 2018.


Dear Obama And Trump, Please Heal America (And Make Out)

For the sake of this country, Trump and Obama must have a forbidden tryst over the next two months.


3 Notes To Myself Now That Trump Is President

This is a promise about myself, to myself, which I hope some people will find valuable. Thanks for reading.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/15/16)

Look, we get it. Between the news' blind spots and the resulting mayhem on social sites, you're probably having media-related trust issues right now.


Analyzing The Pros And Cons Of Trump Winning The Election

There is more work to be done than before, even with the weight of the recent political upset.


What Canada Thinks Of You Threatening To Move There

Canada is not your safety school.


Dear White Friends: Stop Saying Everything Is Going To Be Ok

I'm tired of hearing you tell me that everything is going to be okay, because the implications of this election are different for you than for everyone else.


Don't Panic

Don't panic. Or rather, don't keep panicking for too long.


The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/8/16)

Look, we get it. It takes at least a week to get through the mountain of voter literature that piles up in your mailbox.


The 6 F**king Stupidest Reasons Why People Don't Vote

While it's everyone's God-given right to not vote, considering what's at stake this year, never has a more wrong-headed act existed.