Do you hate fun? Do you wish you could recreate the experience of eating peanut butter from the jar -- but with more steps? Are you a culinary contrarian, proud of your spicy, or, well, not-so-spicy takes on classic food combinations?
Well, my very strange reader, you're in luck. On Monday, candy company Hershey announced they're launching a new product appealing to every chocolate hater's sensibilities -- a peanut butter cup that's literally all peanut butter. "The Reese's Ultimate Peanut Butter Lovers Cup" is essentially a naked version of the classic candy, the iconic peanut butter filling coated with a peanut butter shell. Although the company has released a similar peanut butter lover's cup over the past few years containing chocolate, this new, unsettling venture marks the first time Hershey has ever offered a stand-alone peanut butter cup since it was first introduced more than 90 years ago, CNN reported.
In light of this daring departure, Hershey acknowledged the idea's absurdity, addressing the inevitable skepticism to their latest sugary venture in a statement. "While launching a Reese's Cup with absolutely no chocolate might come as a shock, we're giving the truest peanut butter fans something to go wild about," Reeses Brand Manager, Margo McIlvaine, explained.
However it seems "go wild" may be a stretch, at least according CNET's Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, who says she tried the candy ahead of its nationwide release this April to much disappointment. "The Ultimate PB Cups reminded me of an overly sugary slab of peanut-butter fudge that my mom might've bought at Wall Drug in 1981," she wrote in a review so scathing it almost gives the infamous 2012 New York Times Guy Fieri takedown a run for its money. "They're not bad, just too much of a muchness. I miss the contrasting sweetness of the chocolate, complementing the nutty peanut-butter filling. Maybe that's why I put bananas, or sometimes jelly, on my peanut-butter toast. The PB needs a friend to play with."
Fashingbauer Cooper says she found the cups so putrid, she even contemplated extreme measures to drain of her free sample stash. "It's also possible someone tried to bribe the remaining samples out of my hands with an offer of wireless earbuds," she confessed. "I am considering it."
So folks, remember, peanut butter, much like life, is always better with a pal. Oh, and Ms. Fashingbauer Cooper, if you're reading this, I will happily take those peanut butter cups off your hands -- they may be bad, but for a free pair of headphones? I'm down.