Cracked Archive - Music


29 Bizarre True Stories Behind the Most Popular Music Ever

Hmm, gross. That's not what we thought that song meant.


5 Disturbing Messages That Always Show Up in Love Songs

Despite our endless harmonious yammering, we still write song after song from messed-up viewpoints that make it clear we actually have no clue what love is.


6 Of the Happiest Songs Ever (Are About Death)

Some songs about what's traditionally the saddest of all possible subject matter come out sounding like feel-good party anthems.


27 Easter Eggs (We Wish Were) Hidden in Iconic Music Videos

Music videos. For three minutes we're treated to vainest self-promotion out of a late night infomercial. And yeah, some of them can be pretty cool -- but they can always be cooler.


6 Hit Songs That Destroyed the Bands They Made Famous

Your favorite song might be the one the band hates the most.


The 5 Least Anticipated Albums of 2015

It's 2015! That means all sorts of fun new things will be happening. Music will not be one of those things.


20 Popular Songs Written by the Last Person You Expect

We all kind of expect nowadays that the person singing a tune we're into likely didn't write it. What's shocking, though, is that sometimes the song was written by someone who likely could've performed it better as well.


6 Celebrities You Didn't Know Had Ridiculous Music Careers

Sometimes, an entertainer's musical side job reveals a whole other side of their personality.


8 Vintage Christmas Carols (That Are All About F#@king)

It turns out Christmas carols riddled with double entendre have actually been around for decades.


The 4 Hidden Downsides of Life in a Rock Band

Anyone can guess what the fun part of being in a band entails. The pain-in-the-ass part, on the other hand, is more unknown.


4 Kinds of Lyrics That (Almost) Always Ruin the Song

There are certain things songwriters do that seem almost guaranteed to produce a bad song, but they keep doing it.


5 One-Hit Wonders Who Deserve Way More Respect

This label is tossed around a bit too liberally, so much so that there are a few 'one-hit wonders' that deserve a second look.


4 Steps to Being the Very Worst in a World of Shitty DJs

Step #1: Suck. Step #2: Forget you suck. Step #3: Remember you suck in front of 100 people.


5 Little-Known Reasons Why Modern Pop Culture Sucks

When art sucks, it sucks for consistent and modern reasons.