Cracked Archive - Music

Pictofacts

29 Bizarre True Stories Behind the Most Popular Music Ever

Hmm, gross. That's not what we thought that song meant.

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5 Disturbing Messages That Always Show Up in Love Songs

Despite our endless harmonious yammering, we still write song after song from messed-up viewpoints that make it clear we actually have no clue what love is.

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6 Of the Happiest Songs Ever (Are About Death)

Some songs about what's traditionally the saddest of all possible subject matter come out sounding like feel-good party anthems.

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Photoplasty

27 Easter Eggs (We Wish Were) Hidden in Iconic Music Videos

Music videos. For three minutes we're treated to vainest self-promotion out of a late night infomercial. And yeah, some of them can be pretty cool -- but they can always be cooler.

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6 Hit Songs That Destroyed the Bands They Made Famous

Your favorite song might be the one the band hates the most.

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The 5 Least Anticipated Albums of 2015

It's 2015! That means all sorts of fun new things will be happening. Music will not be one of those things.

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Pictofacts

20 Popular Songs Written by the Last Person You Expect

We all kind of expect nowadays that the person singing a tune we're into likely didn't write it. What's shocking, though, is that sometimes the song was written by someone who likely could've performed it better as well.

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6 Celebrities You Didn't Know Had Ridiculous Music Careers

Sometimes, an entertainer's musical side job reveals a whole other side of their personality.

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8 Vintage Christmas Carols (That Are All About F#@king)

It turns out Christmas carols riddled with double entendre have actually been around for decades.

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The 4 Hidden Downsides of Life in a Rock Band

Anyone can guess what the fun part of being in a band entails. The pain-in-the-ass part, on the other hand, is more unknown.

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4 Kinds of Lyrics That (Almost) Always Ruin the Song

There are certain things songwriters do that seem almost guaranteed to produce a bad song, but they keep doing it.

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5 One-Hit Wonders Who Deserve Way More Respect

This label is tossed around a bit too liberally, so much so that there are a few 'one-hit wonders' that deserve a second look.

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4 Steps to Being the Very Worst in a World of Shitty DJs

Step #1: Suck. Step #2: Forget you suck. Step #3: Remember you suck in front of 100 people.

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5 Little-Known Reasons Why Modern Pop Culture Sucks

When art sucks, it sucks for consistent and modern reasons.

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