Cracked Archive - Movies & TV

Why Spider-Man Is a Dick

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I think about Spider-man more than the average person. When I was 19, I wrote a thesis about why comics-readers will never truly find love as long as Mary Jane, (posited in the thesis as the ideal woman), exists in their consciousness.

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The 5 Most Baffling Horror Movies From Around the World

Chances are the horror movies you've seen are actually fairly normal when compared to these.

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Red Dawn might be the most anti-American movie made outside of the Middle East.

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The 7 Most Offensive Adaptations of Classic Comic Books

Think about everything you love about cartoons and comics, then take a hammer to those thoughts. That's what these are.

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How 7 Iconic Movie Characters Would Do In a Zombie Attack

There's not a movie on Earth that wouldn't be drastically improved by the addition of zombies.

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5 Reasons Hollywood Needs to Stop Making Prequels

Let's face it: Prequels are just there to ruin a good thing.

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6 Hilarious Special Effects From Turkish Cinema

The Turkish are cinematic geniuses, able to recreate any Hollywood special effect for less than zero dollars.

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5 Reasons 'Big' Had The Most Depressing Happy Ending Ever

If they made a sequel it would be a precautionary tale.

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Umbrella: The Most Wasteful Movie Corporation Ever

In every movie they manage to develop the most advanced technology on Earth, only to use it for the most helmet-wearingly dumbass purposes.

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If Other Cable Networks Had Picked Up Dexter

We were still pretty close to getting a very different Dexter this season...

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If Movie Characters Didn't Make Horrible Decisions

People in movies are bored to tears by the daily monster attacks and underdog miracles and high speed chases (though on the plus side, Social Security and pension funds wouldn't be in crisis because nobody ever reaches retirement). This begs the question: What crazy stories would boggle the minds of characters in movies?

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5 Mediocre Movies Made Awesome by Real Events

Like competitive siblings born to a critical mother, Life and Art have never really gotten along that well.

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Perspective Man: The Hero America Deserves [COMIC]

In terms of social benefit, Batman's got nothing on this guy.

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6 Romantic Movie Gestures That Can Get You Prison Time

When done in real life, many of the tricks used by onscreen singletons to successfully woo potential lovers can get you put away for a long time.

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5 Absurd (But Mind-Blowing) Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories

It's hard enough to make a good movie or TV show, but apparently some of the stuff you watch or listen to also contains secret hidden messages that only close examination will reveal. Or, at least, that's what countless conspiracy theorists around the internet would have us believe.

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