Every Hollywood movie deserves a little bit of 'True Detective.'
These six films are primed to knock your tits off in the foreseeable future.
Whether we admit it or not, most of us will spend our adult lives trying to unlearn the shit pop culture taught us when we were growing up.
When the cast and crew of children's TV start to unwind they tend to do it in ways that forever color our memories of our favorite cartoons and Nickelodeon game shows with the knowledge that nefarious boner jokes were lurking just off-screen.
Some roles haunt famous actors for the rest of their lives.
'Screw you and the spinoff TV series you rode in on. I didn't invent this shrinking formula just so it could fall into the wrong hands.'
Sometimes, you need to double-check those so-called kids' films, lest you plop the spawn down for happy-time viewing and wind up inadvertently corrupting them.
As Cracked's foremost 'Space Jam' Authority and Occasional Wearer Of Shoes, I obviously have a lot of issues here.
Some villains opt to skip the over-complicated planning and instead go for schemes that make no sense right from the very first nefarious laugh.
Not even the fun movies and shows you grew up with can escape the grittiness of the modern world.
Welcome to Dictatorship 101. Please take a seat. (You don't have a choice.)
The beloved OT was never meant to be seen as a great artistic achievement. Not until our collective nostalgic hive mind decided it had to be, anyway.
Like any American classic, it's borderline impossible to appreciate this on your own. You need a guide for a masterpiece this dense.