Cracked Archive - Comedy

15 Ali Wong Jokes for the Hall of Fame
‘You wanna be a grown-ass woman? Stop dating skaters. Stop dating skaters unless you wanna wake up on a mattress in a kitchen. They’re sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside’
- Authors
- By Dan Fritschie
- Published
- Comments
-
5
Paul Rudd Does a Side-by-Side with the Late-Night Writer Who Lizzo Thought Was Him
In Lizzo’s defense, the top third of their faces are surprisingly similar
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
7
J.B. Smoove, Tiffany Haddish and Wesley Snipes Are Making Their Own ‘Magic Mike’
‘Back on the Strip’ is a barely clothed comedy about getting the band back together
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
1
Raquel Welch Was a Hilarious Menace on ‘Seinfeld’
RIP, legend
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
- Published
- Comments
-
4
Jennifer Coolidge Got Mad at David Harbour for Not Strangling Her Hard Enough
Coolidge berated Harbour for being too gentle during one of their rougher scenes in ‘We Have a Ghost’
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
1
Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter
Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!
The Cringiest ‘Saturday Night Live’ Monologues, According to the ‘Live From New York’ Subreddit
These hosts helped us get our wince on
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
- Published
- Comments
-
5
Calvin and Hobbes Creator Bill Watterson Is Back
But is he bringing Calvin with him?
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
- Published
- Comments
-
4
Joan Rivers’ Venomous Hatred for Princess Diana Is Going Viral on TikTok
Rivers can still touch a nerve
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
- Published
- Comments
-
5
15 of the Best Self-Deprecating Jokes from Top Comedians
‘I’ve never been in an orgy, but I feel like it’d be like what happens when I try to play pickup basketball: No one passes me the ball, and everyone asks me to keep my shirt on’
- Authors
- By Dan Fritschie
- Published
- Comments
-
0
Maybe Chelsea Handler’s Video About Being Childless Is Cringe, But the Call for Her to Stay Barefoot and Pregnant Instead Is Worse
The comedian made a sketch about childlessness that Ben Shapiro and others are ludicrously claiming is a cry for help
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
43
‘Last Week Tonight’ Has Aged John Oliver By Like a Hundred Years
Oliver’s before-and-after photos look like he’s been the president of a country at war for two decades
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
3
Ben Schwartz Delivers Some Classic Misery for Your Valentine’s Day Gloom
Schwartz revisited his heartbreaking sketch about unrequited love
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
1
Colin Mochrie’s Favorite ‘Whose Line’ Guests Are Robin Williams and... Richard Simmons?
With ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’ at the end of its run, Mochrie looks back
- Authors
- By Matt Solomon
- Published
- Comments
-
3
‘Die Hard 5’ Is a Valentine’s Day Movie
‘A Good Day to Die Hard’ was released 10 years ago today on Valentine’s Day as a celebration of romantic love and absurd violence
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
6
Owen Wilson Is Doing His Own Wes Anderson Movies Now — Sans Wes Anderson
‘Paint’ appears to be a throwback to aughts-era Anderson films
- Authors
- By Keegan Kelly
- Published
- Comments
-
4