Hey, friend. How's that New Year's resolution going? Wait, sorry, dumb question. You're doing it the John Cheese way and enjoying your new, improved life. Non-dumb question, though: Why is the new you kicking around in the old you's clothes? You're an updated classic, and you deserve to wear an updated classic ...

Our New Shirt! In Two New Colors!

No.1 1938 VREACTIOM COMICS wwle

No.1 1938 REACTION COMICS rtr

Reaction Comics No. 1 comes to us from Andy Hunt, who's also responsible for our Night Walkers shirt. It mashes up the reckless superdick of Siegel/Shuster with the pro-automobile patriotism of Bay/Ford, giving that Kryptonian in tights his comeuppance for smashing a classic American car. We're also proud to offer this shirt in two different colors, because this is America and we believe in choices, provided those choices aren't very creative.

And if you're thinking, "Big deal, Crackle, I could make a better shirt than that," then we encourage you to do exactly that in our monthly T-shirt design contest! Also, get your insults together, man. Poor Crackle doesn't deserve your abuse.

You've got until Friday at 4 p.m. PST to impress us into paying you. And don't let your graphic design-based insecurities stop you: If an idea's funny enough, we'll work with you to make it as torso-ready as ...

Our Weekly Dose of Shirt Envy

At its best, the Internet is a Superman family of amiable do-gooders, clever as Lois Lane and cute as Lana Lang (man, DC has some dumb names). So check out these T-shirts from the Jimmy Olsens (ugh) of today, fresh off the presses and ready for your 2014 wardrobe:

OLNIRP & ARM IF YOU BE WORTHY UTOLNE C

Available from Busted Tees

X

Available from Uneetee

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes

Available from Threadless

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes

Available from Design by Humans

N POWERS GENES APPETITE FOR MUTAY shirtoid.com

Available from Shirtoid

Always on the go but can't get enough of those sweet, sweet dick jokes? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.

Are you a fan of money, everlasting glory, but really just money? We want to give you that! (Particularly the money part.) Enter as many designs as you want into our T-shirt contest and you might just win $500.

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