"After assembly, we quality test each one by sleeping off the hangover."
According to Consumer Reports, mattresses have the biggest margins in the furniture store, up to 50 percent, because of course they do. Unlike literally every other piece of furniture you buy, no one gives a s**t what a mattress looks like. Maybe you want fancy down filling or something, but the outside is going to be the same ugly-looking mattress that the rest of us have, which means shopping for a mattress should be the easiest thing ever. You tell the guy what size you need and just buy the next one in line.
Unfortunately for you and me, that's not how mattress buying works. You have to wade through a mire of B.S. about sleep scores and lumbar support and assorted other irrelevant crap when all that matters is whether you sink into it and will go into debt buying it.
What's the point of a high-end bed if thinking about your credit score keeps you up at night?
The difference between a $1,000 mattress and a $2,000 mattress is the $1,000 you wasted and maybe the coils inside are wrapped in a slightly more expensive material. Hell, maybe you even got an extra inch or two of padding. But it's stuff you're not likely to notice after sleeping on a mattress for a year or so, because by that time it's just a sponge with a you-shaped indent inside of it that smells a little off and has at least three stains on it you'd be embarrassed for anyone else to take too close a look at. Pro Tip: Try to aim your jizz off the side of the bed so you only ruin the carpet; who gives a f**k about the carpet?