Here Are Some Other Ways Trey Parker And Matt Stone Could Have Spent All the Money They’ve Sunk Into Casa Bonita

Buy 4 Private Islands

Actually, $40 million could buy many, many more than just four private islands, but the properties listed by The Robb Report are probably the best “bang for your buck” in terms of habitability. Parker and Stone could comfortably acquire seaside solitude in Belize, Greece, British Columbia and French Polynesia (the first one was even owned by Francis Ford Coppola) and still have enough money left over for a lifetime supply of tortillas.

Pay for 20,000 Cataracts Surgeries

Earlier this year, YouTube megastar MrBeast made national news when he paid for 1,000 underprivileged people suffering from cataracts to undergo surgery to fix their eye issues, priced at about $2,000 per patient, out-of-pocket. The resulting viral video was criticized by some for how seemingly exploitative Mr. Beast’s portrayal of the people undergoing the procedure was, but multiply that number of patients by 20 and see who tries to tear you down then.

Go to Space 40 Times Each

Space tourism is still in its infancy, but even the most costly suborbital trips on Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo and Blue Origin’s New Shepard top out at around $500,000. Of course, Parker and Stone may have some hesitation about boarding a billionaire’s rocket ship after they just insulted the dick measuring of the Bezos and Musks of the world in South Park: Joining the Panderverse. And so, Parker and Stone probably wouldn’t want to risk a challenging trip.

Protect 4 Million Acres of Tropical Rainforest

Since Parker and Stone finally admit that human-made climate change (or ManBearPig, they use the two interchangeably) does exist despite Al Gore’s dorkiness, they could save a slice of our planet’s lungs from devastation by protecting precious land in the rainforest at just $10 an acre through The Rainforest Trust. Of course, we also know how Parker and Stone feel about hippies who are obsessed with saving the rainforests…

Make ‘Team America 2’

Even if Parker and Stone had 40 trillion dollars, this one would be a longshot. The total budget for Team America: World Police, the pair’s torturous exercise in parody puppetry, was $32 million in 2004, which, accounting for inflation, would be about $52 million today, but I’m sure Parker and Stone could use their painstakingly acquired expertise in the medium to shave off some of the extra costs that the original project incurred. However, the unique difficulties of working in stop-motion puppetry were so stressful and time-consuming that Parker would later say of the experience, “You could threaten to kill my family, and I would not make another puppet movie. If my mother would die if I would not make another puppet movie, she’d be dead. I’m totally serious.”

So put this one in the “maybe” pile.