How ‘Seinfeld’ Fans Would Describe Elaine Benes to Someone Who Has Never Seen the Show

All the best attempts at summarizing the Queen of the Castle in a couple short words
How ‘Seinfeld’ Fans Would Describe Elaine Benes to Someone Who Has Never Seen the Show

Words themselves may be inadequate when describing the dazzling brilliance of Elaine Benes, but an interpretive dance would do the trick.

Of all the core characters in Seinfeld, Elaine Benes may be the one with the most nuance — George wears his grumblings and insecurities on his sleeve, Kramer’s weirdness is his defining trait and Jerry, frankly, is too milquetoast to warrant any deep examination. Only Elaine, whose confidence, lack of grace and overly-excited shoulder punches paint the picture of a modern woman who is the queen of her castle, cannot be adequately described in a two-to-three sentence character bio. Elaine is enigmatic, unmistakable and unrepentantly devoted to her Jujyfruits. 

When speaking to someone who has never seen Seinfeld — if such a person both exists and is worth talking to — Elaine would be the hardest character to accurately describe in just a few short words. To that end, over in the Seinfeld subreddit, the superfans recently discussed how they would describe Elaine to a Seinfeld stranger. Here are their best attempts…

“She's got shiksa appeal!” — valeriemaycry

“She is sponge-worthy” — yaboiRich

“Bosomy” — Lindt_Licker

“Not hispanic” — Silly_Doughnut5715

“She’s... What’s the word? Ssssssupercilious!!!” — Iron_Chic

“No grace” — Dontbeajerkdude

“She can put asses in the seats” — creddittor216

“Wall of hair. Face like a frying pan” — DecisionThot

“Breathtaking” — BushwoodCountry-Club

“Elaine was a simple country girl. You might say a cockeyed optimist, who got herself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue” — Vault804

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