Weirdest Details of Kramer’s Life That Got Glossed Over on ‘Seinfeld’
Characteristically enigmatic, Cosmo Kramer continues to provide joy to Seinfeld superfans online as they pour over the murky, mysterious and compelling details of his legendary life — like how his first name is “Cosmo.”
At the outset of Seinfeld in 1989, very little was known about the protagonist’s kookie next-door neighbor who seemed more at home in Jerry’s apartment than in his own, actual home. Even his mononymous last name was up in the air — in the pilot episode “The Seinfeld Chronicles,” the character played by Michael Richards is called “Kessler” by his friends. Over the course of nine seasons, numerous details about the hipster doofus were revealed while little is actually learned, as his background, his income sources (barring the whole bagel shop side plot) and everything about his perpetual partner-in-crime Bob Sacamano remain some of the show’s best mysteries and most fascinating points of fan speculation.
One such fan, the mashup Seinfeld and Twin Peaks enthusiast account @Seinpeaks, recently started a Twitter thread for Kramer admirers to marvel at the tidbits and fun facts dropped by the character about his intriguingly bizarre life story. Here are the highlights from the amazing life of The Assman:
Also arising in the adoring thread of weirdo Kramer enthusiasts were some anecdotes about the character’s creation, including the rumor that the Seinfeld writers once planned on doing an entire episode for Kramer’s birthday in which it was revealed that he was in his early 60s the entire time. Other fans complained about inconsistencies in the character’s arc — such as how he describes the practice of taking baths as “sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth” in one episode, only to claim in a later season that he prefers baths over showers.
Another bold user replied to Seinpeaks with the suggestion that, “Disney needs to make ‘Kramer: A Seinfeld Story,’” to which the original poster plainly replied, “They absolutely do not.”