‘South Park’s Five Funniest Fights
“I didn’t hear no bell.”
If there’s one thing that all the psychos of South Park, Colorado love, it’s a good, old-fashioned fight. Whether it’s between Mecha-Streisand and Kaiju-Maltin, Randy and Bat Dad or Randy and every other dad in Little League, no one throws down quite like South Park. Blessed with a TV-MA rating and the insanity of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park holds nothing back when its characters battle on any plane of existence with any weapon at their disposal.
Here are South Park’s five best fights in ascending order of hilarity…
ManBearPig vs. Satan
Al Gore was right — ManBearPig (and climate change) is real. Somehow, the only being capable of stopping its carnage is the original belligerent, Satan. The prince of darkness squares off with Gore’s archnemesis in the streets of South Park, sadly being bested by the half-man, half-bear and half-pig monstrosity. As the devil reminds the tearful crowd of onlookers, everyone dies one day — and he ascends to heaven, hilariously. It’s super cereal.
Everyone vs. The World of Warcraft Nerd
“Make Love, Not Warcraft” was one of the riskiest episodes in South Park history, and the show’s creators were convinced that it would end their popularity for good. Little did they know that their most immersive video game parody/pastiche would become one of the most beloved episodes of television ever, and it’s all because of the much-anticipated showdown between the core boys and the mysterious rogue keyboard warrior who nearly ruined WoW for everyone. As usual, Randy pulled through at the eleventh hour, the boys won and they were finally able to play the game.
Timmy vs. Jimmy
The possibly insensitively named “Cripple Fight” is an iconic moment in South Park history. Upon the introduction of Jimmy to the Mountain Scouts, the town’s other disabled favorite Jimmy resents sharing the spotlight, leading to a showdown that nearly perfectly recreates the fight between Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David in They Live. “Just let them have it out, Susan, they’ll run out of steam soon,” said South Park’s most incorrect bystander.
Mecha-Streisand vs. Robert Smith, Sidney Poitier and Leonard Maltin
On the topic of iconic actress and singer Barbra Streisand and her equally iconic nose, Parker and Stone were once quoted as saying, “A lot of our fans ask us, ‘Do you really hate the celebrities you make fun of in South Park?’ And the answer is, of course not. It’s all just in good fun... except when it comes to Barbra Streisand. We hate her.” That acrimony couldn’t have been more clear when her havoc-wreaking mech is stopped by an eclectic combination of celebrity kaiju when they learn her weakness — her giant metal schnozz.
Randy vs. Bat Dad
Though not as spectacular or apocalyptic as many of the fights on the list, this one takes the cake through sheer grit. Randy Marsh may not always be the best dad, but when it comes to confronting the fathers of Colorado’s inferior cities at an excruciating Little League baseball game, he never backs down from a topless tussle — even when his opponent is the night itself.
