13 Brilliant Dark Humor Jokes About Traveling

Your dream trips can easily turn into dark nightmares
13 Brilliant Dark Humor Jokes About Traveling

Traveling can be a fun adventure, changing things up and clearing your mind by checking out new sights, sounds and environments. It could also quickly turn into a nightmare. You never know what could derail your trips either, sometimes literally if you’re traveling by train. Being on the road constantly, comedians know the dark side of getting to and from home better than most.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

As such, here are some dark jokes and moments regarding travel from your favorite comedians and shows...

Mo Amer’s Refugee Status

Before he was granted citizenship, Amer had a refugee travel document instead of a passport, which did nothing but garner repeated frustrations from having to give history lessons and threaten to blow up the airport just so he could check in for his flights. (3:42 mark above)

Tony Woods’ Flight Plan

After realizing that he was the only Black person on a Canadian flight on a rickety plane, Woods fantasized about how he would take out the other passengers if it were to tumble and crash.

‘Family Guy’ Goes to the Capitol

Peter and his drinking buddies hop on a bird scooter to go to Washington D.C. On January 6th, apparently.

J.C. Currais Thinks Babies Don’t Need to Travel

“I don’t mind babies on planes. I get it; they gotta fly places, right? But do they, though? ‘My baby has to go. He has to see his sick grandmama.’ Just tell him they went.”

Cristela Alonzo’s Confrontation with Airport Security

Alonzo was excited to go on a Thanksgiving trip with her boyfriend until airport security found a gun in his bag.

It’s the Safest Way to Travel’

Jen Kirkman Likes to Travel Alone

“I travel alone; I went to Italy by myself this year. And it invoked a lot of reactions from people. You would have thought I said, ‘Hey, I started a race riot this year.’ People were like, ‘What?! You did what?!’”

‘Saturday Night Live’ Welcomes You to the U.S.

SNL knows that U.S. customs is messed up. And xenophobic

Kathleen Madigan’s Paris Trip

Since her mother had never left the country, Madigan coordinated a family trip to Paris for her birthday. What should have been a typical tourist trip to France turned into buying Louis Vuitton purses for the Chinese mob.

Jim Gaffigan’s Confessions to Customs Agents

“Going through customs and immigration is so intense. They’re dressed like SWAT team members. I always get so nervous, like, ‘Do I have heroin on me? I don’t know what heroin looks like, but I might have accidentally packed some!’ There’s that mini-interview with the customs agent, ‘What do you plan to do in our country?’ ‘Uhhh, murder people? You got me, I wasn’t ready for your trick questions.’”

Key & Peele & Boarding Group Passes

The hierarchy that airlines have established is really messed up.

I Think You Should Leave the Plane

I Think You Should Leave shows the possible retribution awaiting you if you were once a baby who cried throughout an entire flight.

Goin’ On a Road Trip!

Please Don’t Destroy goes on a cross-country road trip with Jenna Ortega! Surely nothing terrible will happen.

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?